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Kissy sat there, on the floor, by his feet, feeling…well she really didn’t know what she was feeling. There was disgust at what she’d just done, there was pride in his reaction to it, there was desire to learn more about what was happening, and affection for this man that stood in front of her. How can one have affection for your rapist? She struggled to understand all the emotions playing through her.
When he started to walk away, she started to panic, was he leaving her like this? The same doubts that had assaulted her for years came crashing around her. He was going to just use and abuse her, then leave her. Just as the panic began to crescendo he walked back in the room carrying a glass of water, and a pasta dish.
“Are you thirsty?” when she nodded, he tipped the glass to her lips. Drinking deeply, quenching a thirst she didn’t know she had to only realize, she felt utterly safe with this man. Why? When she was done drinking, he kissed her forehead and held her. “Are you hunger, pet?” he asked after a moment. Again, unable to find her voice, she nodded. She began to turn around so he could undo her arms, but he stopped her.
“No pet, not yet. I will feed you, then there are questions that need to be answered.”
Jon sat there watching Kissy eat. Doubt started to assail him. He hadn’t known she was a virgin, wasn’t sure if he’d done the right thing. Hell, he hadn’t had a virgin since he was one himself. She didn’t look angry or hysterical, but she was awful quiet. Once she was done, it was time to answer some questions.
“Kissy, why at 24, are you a virgin? I know it isn’t from any lack of willing guys, I’m sure.” He added dryly.
It took her a moment to answer. He noticed her face went to a very nice hue of red. “I’m assuming you know of my interests.” After a quick nod and a little bit rolled eyes she continued feeling a little foolish, “I’m not a slut, I always have believed to wait until it feels right, not necessarily marriage, but something that held interest. Boys then men that I came to know…just didn’t interest me in that way.” She took a breath and then continued, “but that’s only part of it,” her color kicked up a few notches, “I think another part was…that you see I…” fighting shame that was building up inside her, she looked down, “I think I’ve always been waiting for this,” the words were so soft he almost didn’t hear them.
Jon looked at her, eyes down cast, humiliation stained cheeks, arms bound behind her, she was such a lovely sight.
“Ok, I think I understand what you’re saying. Have you ever done anything like this, or related? Nonsexual obviously. What have you discovered that you want to try or learn more about/”
Still whispering she asks, “How do you know this, me? How do you know I’ve been researching?”
Not surprised by the questions…honestly who would be…he answered in a slow voice void of emotion, “That is something we’ll discuss at a later date. For now, you are mine. You please me, you make me happy, so far you’ve done well, pet. Don’t disappoint me.”
“I haven’t researched the activities as much as the relationships, as for the activities, I wish only to please you.”
No one was more surprised by her words than Kissy herself. What surprised her most was how much she meant them.