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Gone
Author: Hawke
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(Added on Nov 23, 2003)
(This month 74525 readers) (Total 111766 readers) |
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A multi-part kidnapping story, a slow start, though becoming better later. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 8 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (9/10) |
| Average
Rating: (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
grinner666
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 6, 2008 |
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You lose points for not having continued to WRITE the story for three years, but it's a damn fine piece of work. More chapters, please. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
MrMan
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 29, 2004 |
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"Yew Shore Rite Purty!" I do enjoy it's slow pace as well, but the loving descriptions of things like the sound of handcuffs tells me that this story is written by one who is truly into his sub- and subject, too! I'm wondering if you plan to write anything from Greg or Jenna's POV, especially if you change your mind and have one of the women (Molly) go "reluctant". And even if you don't, keep writing. This one is FINE! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 14, 2004 |
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so far so good, please keep it going (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Hawke
(Edit) (Feb 14, 2004)
- Yes, I plan to finish it entirely. I already know what will happen all the way up to the end, and now all I have to do is write all of that down.
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 25, 2004 |
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I have bumped this to a 10. It is coming along nicely. I hope Leonard ends up a good guy before it's over. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
sirthumper
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 30, 2003 |
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First of all, I just have to say that I really enjoy the way this story is progressing. I love the start - the slow build-up and the introduction to the main character, Molly. I'm a big fan of stories that don't just jump right into the action, with little regard for building suspense. This story definitely holds my attention in this regard.
I'm also a big fan of stories where young highschool girls are taken and abused, preferably by groups of men. The plot of this story, involing two teens kidnapped to be sold at some auction, is quite enticing. There are many different ways the author can progress with this tale, and I'm looking forward to seeing where his creativity takes it. Since there are two kidnapped teens, it would be cool if their experiences aren't exactly the same. Maybe Molly could meekly go along with whatever the men want, but her friend, perhaps, resists too strenuously. It would be cool to see what the kidnappers do to a girl that doesn't comply with their demands. Then again, having BOTH girls resists would lead to even more facinating scenes.
As for the writing, there are just a few misspellings and awkward sentences, but nothing that detracts too much from the story. Good job! Keep it up, and keep writing. I hope this is a loooooooooooong story. It could become a classic.
Overall, I gave you an "8." I took one point away for the few awkward sentences. I took another so that you have soemthing to strive for in the upcoming installments. Let's face it: if I gave you a "10," you may "quit while you're ahead!" Ha! Take care...and write a lot! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JBL312
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 18, 2003 |
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A well written beginning to a story I am very much looking forward to reading.
I am a fan of long stories with a lot of detail and this story appears to be heading in that direction. The author has done a good job of introducing the main character, giving good details about her personality and giving us a feel for who she is and where she is in her young life.
Although some readers who prefer stories that jump right into things might find the beginning of this story some what slow, I personally thought that it moved at a smooth pace. I was interested in the story from the opening lines and disappointed when I reached the end.
Hawke has begun a story that has many paths that it could go down. I also like that this story has also introduced a second female character, one who is a friend of the main character.
I really look forward to reading how this story will play out. Good work so far Hawke, I look forward to reading more. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 26, 2003 |
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Dear Hawke. I am difficult and demanding. Your start is well and competently written. But that is not enough! You only get a seven - very good in terms of internet fiction, recommendable. Lets see what comes in the next installment. Then, as you revise the codes, I will re-evaluate my rating! As you can tell, I am a sadist and I might add that I revel in corporal punishment of terrified teenage girls.
Now, I have to admitt that "Gone" may very well be the finest thing you have written. Your work seems to improve from story to story. You have begun to master the slow start which is essential to a good serial. Lets see where it goes from here! (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Hawke
(Edit) (Nov 26, 2003)
- To bdsmbill:
I hope I don't disappoint you with the next installment, and it pleases me that you imply that part one is so promising-as for making you wait for too long, I don't plan on that happening-I will be away for Thanksgiving, until Sunday, but I know everything that will happen until the end of part two, so all that's left is putting it in textual form. The reason I decided to submit the story in segments was because I wanted to get the first part out there to get people excited about the second, which I am happy to say it appears I have done.
To e.e. norcod:
Your review also pleases me, and I understand your rating-after all, it is just part one. By the way, you said in your review that I only got a seven, but the stars say you gave me a 8/10. Just thought I would notify you of that, in case you selected the wrong one unintentionally.
Your remark about the "corporal punishment of teenage girls" caught my eye, and I wanted to give a little taste of the future installments in that the codes will never become "reluctant"-I don't plan on ever having either of the women start liking what I have in store for them. Therefore, all actions taken (whatever they may be) will be upon a woman who is scared out of her mind. And, thank you for your remark about "Gone" being the finest thing I have written, and thank you for complimenting my skills in terms of slow starts. Finally, thanks to you three who took the time to review it, and thanks to whoever reviews it in the future. Please. Review away! It only takes a few seconds, and I love to see the "New Mail" icon for my email, as my address is dedicated only to this website.
-Hawke
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| Reviewer:
GaryWilcox
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 24, 2003 |
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This is a slow beginning, but I *like* slow beginnings, and the detail in this story is excellent. Looking forward to more of this story, and the fate of Molly and Jenna... (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Hawke
(Edit) (Nov 24, 2003)
- Yes, it does start slow, but I've been working constantly on part two. By the way, my story code is only "Rated R" because that's the only thing part one fell under. Part two will add a few codes. Just thought I'd make sure that was absolutely clear.
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