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Natasha
Author: Will Adams
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(Added on Sep 25, 2004)
(This month 131364 readers) (Total 199614 readers) |
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A 13-year-old girl begins her journey of domination as a Queen Scat provider. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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14% |
29% |
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29% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
slurper
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 4, 2011 |
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Very hot writing in chapter 1! Chapter 2 is also good (haven't finished it yet) but some words seem to be randomly missing. 13 is a bit young for me, but I can pretend she's a fraction older :) (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
kinkyled
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 25, 2007 |
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The story was very good especially with the spelling fixed. Natasha is very hot even for her age and you should show how much of a bitch she is to make her even more exciting. If you continue the story, you should consider telling about her father and adding a male slave like Amber's ex-husband or the rich lady's rich and powerful husband. Either male would worship Natasha completely even though she is a lesbian. This would make her the hottest and most powerful dom ever. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 13, 2006 |
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even with scat my genere, still it was a good story (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 23, 2005 |
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Great concept for the story. Chapter 2 had a few problems but they seemed to be overcome in the following chapters. Though I am not a fan of underage erotica this was an exception and well done. (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
bernie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 7, 2004 |
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Awesome story.... very true to real life.... my shit toilet is exactly the same... begs for a load of my shit as often as possible and cums the most when I fill it's mouth with my hot shit and piss (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2004 |
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Scat isn't really my thing, but the D/S aspects of the story, and the twist of it being the youngster as Domme were cool.
Unfortunately, your writing skills need polish. Don't CALL her a Bitch, SHOW us that she is. The events don't happen in a vacuum - what happened to Natasha's parents, schoolfriends, pets? I can appreciate wanting to get straight into the action, but some background would be appreciated.
Still, you had the sense to proofread, and that's better than a lot of what I've read recently. (5/10)
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- Replied by:
Dododecapod
(Edit) (Oct 4, 2004)
- Mm, not bad. There's an old trick you might try - use at least three senses in each scene.
Proofreading wasn't as good for part two.
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| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 26, 2004 |
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The writing is better than average, but I just cannot buy into the main character being thirteen. Had the author perhaps made her a few years older, sixteen to eighteen might have been more appropriate, the entire story would have become more believable and thus more enjoyable to read. (6/10)
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