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Ashley's Pussy Is All Wet Again
Author: Lance
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(Added on Jul 27, 2005)
(This month 52806 readers) (Total 72118 readers) |
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This is a sequel to the story Ashley and Her Rape Fantasy. Read that one first so you have a little background. I'm posting this separately because this is the best sex story on the internet. The other one is only the second best sex story on the internet. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 29, 2006 |
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very well written, thought out , everything (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
marisamiller
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 31, 2005 |
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Excellent. See my reply to oliveroflondon's review for my explanation. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
oliveroflondon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2005 |
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This is far from 'the best sex story on the internet'. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
marisamiller
(Edit) (Jul 31, 2005)
- If he hadn't declared his story to be the best on the internet, would you have still been moved to review it? I ask because, given the personality in the story, I'm guessing that his tounge was at least partly in his cheek when he said that.
Otherwise, I find this story a tremendous turn-on. The erotic detail isn't anywheres near cliched, which means a stronger image is seared into your brain, which means the feeling is more powerful, though powerful may be an overstatement. Now, maybe you weren't susceptible to this because your feeling was too clouded by a repulsion from the story's crudeness or a suspected pretension from the author. Did you think it was too crude? I thought the caricature of crudeness was at least amusing.
Another complaint I could see is that the story drifts too often and too far from the sex. In the dialogue, for instance, and the thing with the bum. It seems a little erratic. I agree that it is overdone. But I can see where it could be deliberate. Surmising that the narrator is a pretty depressed individual--it seems pretty obvious that he might not be doing very well--the sex that he enjoys, to him, is probably much like a shining source of pleasure amid a backdrop of dreariness. It might be something he really relies on, which could explain his preoccupation with it. If that's the case, then by wandering over into these places of dreariness the reader is given that same sense of sex that the narrator feels, that it shines amid dreariness, that in comparison to it it's really bright. If you can get over feeling distracted by the so-called tangents (and I don't know how you could feel that given the writing, which is exceptional if you'd really look at it), they can supplement.
So, instead of viewing the story as a sex story that strays from the point, sex, for whatever ridiculous reasons, the author thinking that the crudeness is clever or charming or who knows what..instead of viewing it as such, I thought the point might have been to view it as sex just happening to show up amid a bunch of other not so purposive, daily life stuff. Which is why, if you let yourself be taken in by the story, it seems a lot more real, even if some of the behavior and attitude is too extreme to be believable.
Viewing the story this way, where the sex isn't meant to be the entire expanse of the writer's created universe, the sex is a welcome bonus, a relieving fortuity. Certainly this is a little ridiculous a thing to want to find on an erotica website, and normally I wouldn't be receptive to it, and normally I wouldn't be so over-analytical about smut, but the author pulled me in and got me interested in more than just the sex he had to offer. Maybe you can't find him very charismatic, but if you can try and not be too refined or prude, and look past his lack of polish, there seems to be something there. I know, it's just a sex story, but I thought it was terrific, so when I saw your rating I didn't know what to think. Anyhow, reading it in the frame of mind I described, where the sex wasn't given a monopoly over purpose in what's included in the story, I found the sex there was to be more moving. When it isn't the focal point of expectation, the feeling it produces becomes smarter, much like the way a bondage scene in a mainstream movie is a bigger turn-on than in a commercial bondage film. Maybe this was the idea, or maybe I'm overanalyzing.
Either way, to say, "This is far from 'the best sex story on the internet,'" and leave it at that and then rate him a four doesn't seem warranted. Not that you aren't entitled to your opinion! It's just, after wading through a lot of formulaic cud, collections of ready-made phrases and banal fantasies, writer's with no voice and penchants for dull, overdone detail--well, I could go on for a long time here--I really appreciated this story! It was a little inhuman but I liked the extremity of it! And there were some potrayels in it that were a real turn-on and that I haven't seen much of elsewhere. Maybe he isn't very likable, but he is perceptive, and that's important. Also, the dehumanization of Ashley is carried out pretty well. There isn't some stale ritual where it's decided that all-of-a-sudden she's "slave" and has to refer to everyone else as 'master' or 'mistress.' I usually find the way this is carried out to be phony and ridiculous. Instead of playing to these banalities, it's described that Ashley just is a slut, that it just seems evident to everyone that she's less. At the least her slut status is just given to you plainly, without being cluttered by all of the unnatural ways a lot of other stories have of getting there. And that is a real turn on, because that slut status, that position of simply being less worthy of consideration, of being open for use, is the center of lust to a lot of us kinksters. In this story it isn't marred by poorly done tries at explanation. The whole 'master/slave' 'here, sign a contract' routine isn't even bothered with, but the power dynamic is still present.
Forgive me for being so long-winded, but I don't want the author to be discouraged. I've been digging through a lot of sterile stuff here and, even if this story isn't exactly what I've been looking for--it's hard to know just what to make of it--it comes a lot closer than most of the other stories, it at least redeems my search. Believe it or not, underneath the narrator's inhuman exterior, I find something a lot more human than I find in most, if not all, of the other stories. I like him.
I want to see another chapter, where things can really get crazy.
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| Reviewer:
Elkor
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 28, 2005 |
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Author creates a clear and credible basis for his characters actions and mindset. (9/10)
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