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Underground Tournament
Author: Deathnote
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(Added on May 19, 2006)
(This month 25743 readers) (Total 52812 readers) |
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A bored master slaver wishes for more entertainment. Therefore, he sends out one of his henchmen to search for strong fighters. Sixteen fighters will enter a tournament, but only one will have their wish granted. The rest will become slaves... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (3/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mirage
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 20, 2007 |
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the writer has indicated that he has written a introduction or idea thus there's no real story in this work
I thought the synopsis looked promising enough - maybe worth a story. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
isabeau6
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 6, 2007 |
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i disagree, i felt the author putting himself/herself into the story was very entertaining..i see it's never been finished..too bad..i was getting into it..
isabeau6 (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2006 |
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Just a fragment, without any backstory or development of character. Lots of effort needed to pull this thing to the "readable" category.
This isn't a video game, to flop your audience down in the middle of... this is a communications device. If your audience can't get involved in the story, or identify with a character, you'll lose them.
(update)Reading some of the added chapters has me convinced not to waste my time further... or to change the rating. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 22, 2006 |
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This must be the first story ever, that is pornographic in nature and is written for children...
Reading this effort brought to mind those early "Batman & Robin" episodes with Adam West: completely wacko and over the top, with little to no interest for grown-ups...
4 is my score, cuz this kind of story simply isn't my cup of whatever beverage of your choosing...
I would like to see you tackling a more "serious" type of story, though, cuz your writing in itsself isn't that bad...
JJ (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 21, 2006 |
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far far to short to review (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Spitman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 21, 2006 |
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18 story codes and only 4k. That is really taking a liberty. You have to do work to qualify as a genuine writer in here. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 20, 2006 |
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simply does not work (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Tsurmon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 20, 2006 |
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For one thing, don't leave your own comments in the story. Very unproffessional. Second, kind of an immature premise. I don't really mind if you can pull it together, since immature and poorly written fiction is actually a fetish of mine. Third, try not to be so random. A ninja dropping off a ceiling and chugging wine? Doing stuff like that interrupts the mood of a story and hampers immersion.
Keep trying, and good luck. (2/10)
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