|
|
|
|
|
The Runaway
Author: Harold Wellington
|
| |
(Added on Jun 1, 2006)
(This month 22425 readers) (Total 47016 readers) |
| |
Desperate teenage girl runs away from a home full of violence only to find she is now with money or a place to go. Brenda is soon picked up by a beautiful woman who takes her home. Brenda falls in love with this woman, but soon finds that she is to be trained, used and abused as a sex slave or else. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
25% |
75% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jep33
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 1, 2008 |
| |
Overall, I thought the author displayed a talent to put words together. If English is his/her second language then I commend the author for having a better command of language and grammar than many who claim English as their primary language.
There were a few words spelled so poorly that they destroyed a sentence. For example, “Mark gave her a light slab into the face.” I assume the author meant to use the word “slap” instead of “slab”. Another example, “ . . . and shacked her head roughly . . .” I assume here that the author intended to use the word “shook” instead of “shacked”.
I liked the development of the characters that set the tone for their moods. However, I thought the buildup did not have a payoff that was worthy of the overall journey.
But, again, I give credit for the author’s ability to string words together. I think there are good stories within this ability that are waiting to get out.
(8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 10, 2006 |
| |
A good story line that needs a little smoothing in the telling, and in the rough end of the second installment. Lots of potential to grow with this one, and the author seems quite creative.
An editor could help you smooth out the tale, and increase your score. (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 4, 2006 |
| |
A real turn-on. You still need to work on dialogue, and your previewing is a little heavy-handed, but an otherwise very good piece. Will there be more episodes? (8/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 2, 2006 |
| |
Good Story, I only hope this is just the start (7/10)
|
|
|
About 