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Michelle and Sarah
Author: USMC4ME
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(Added on Oct 20, 2006)
(This month 62264 readers) (Total 87540 readers) |
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Michelle and Sarah are kidnapped and held prisoner by a couple. The girls quickly learn that their new Master is in complete control of their fate. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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11% |
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22% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bmtphoenix
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 5, 2007 |
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Excellent story. I just hope there's more coming! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
finc
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2007 |
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redo the first paragraph and this is a very well paced confident peice of work. Hope we find out more about the captured barbie Sarah. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2007 |
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it was worth reading, my only issue is at time is was very weell written flowedwell, at other points to came acroos a bit like you have not written often
I know people who spend months on stories, how long a person spends on a story has no relationship to how good it is,
Also as an America, which I assume you are also, I am entiled to freedom of expression, I rate and reviews stories as I read them and how they appeal to me, yes I hada couple of typo's in my review, but I AM HUMAN, i do make mistakes
As I said, I enjoyed the story, I am very sorry as a author you are unable to accept constructive critismism like i tired to ffer, no insult was ever intenend
Just remember, it is NOT the amount of time it takes to write a story, it is the quality of the work that counts, I would read a well crafted story done in 30 minutes, i would also welcome a story that took months on end to complete, it is always the QUALITY of the story,not the length of time it took to write and post
Sorry you are not able to accept my concerns on the story, most authors welcome constructive critismism,as well as praise apprenty you are not one of those, i haveratedsome storiesa 10 tohers as a 1 7 show me the story is wellabove average, justneedsa little twicking here and there
Hope you have a WONDER 2007 and I look forward to more posts ny you (7/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 22, 2006)
- "at time is was very weell written flowedwell," huh? You people make me SICK. It just so happens that I spent weeks going over this story. I emailed it to at least ten people from the site for appraisal and additional corrections and waited until I had at least two solid chapters to submit in the consideration of length. (16 pages single spaced.) Anyone who actually reads the story would be hard-pressed to find a single grammatical error or inconstancy in logic. Even if the English teacher from hell logs-on and does find something, which is beside the point, I was just trying to offer the readers a small piece of myself and hopefully some enjoyment. Instead I was treated to your condescention. --rest of messege I've chosen to edit out--
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 27, 2006 |
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The reviewers here have not given you much to work with, you say. OK. How about going through your story carefully, and fixing all the wrong words in it? Lots of 'your' instead of 'you're', for example; the first is a possessive, like "your socks", while the second is a contraction for "you are", like "you're fired."
Strong and foul replies to comments, whether they meet your criteria or not, causes others to be unwilling to say anything; hence your lack of 'constructive' criticisms. You may wish to consider this before replying in such a way in the future... it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And as to your "read-count" you mention? That includes people who look at the synopsis and back out of the story, too. Or who read one paragraph and are turned off and leave. Just so you know, OK?
One more 'constructive' comment; do people really speak that way to others in the real world? Where? (5/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 27, 2006)
- You're right about the your/you're thing - I found ONE (It's the last line of chapter one).I will certainly fix it when I get the chance... If you think there are any more, email me and we'll figure out which of us is wrong for future reference.
As far as my replies are concerned, I can only say that I thanked people that reviewed the story and attacked people that wasted life. Your review did lead to one grammatical correction - however one single error does not really denote a '5' score...With that type of rating you should have a couple of other points to make.
As a result I feel your review falls in the mid-level range. Therefore you should go fuck yourself, but in a pleasurable manner. ;)
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| Reviewer:
Naughty
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2006 |
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Ok, first of all everyone needs to take a chill pill! These are stories added by amateur authors and posted up for us all to enjoy for free..
So far this story shows potential. I'm really looking forward to hearing what happens to Sarah as the heavier stuff isn't my thing but i enjoy the way he writes - just descriptive enough without overkill "The long ride to my ranch began silently, however my passenger was soon full of life and noise. The voices were well muffled, but I nonetheless had the distinct feeling I was being cursed in various languages. The hours poured on relentlessly as the moonless night grew darker still. When we finally arrived I popped the trunk and got to work on the girls."
I look forward to the next chapter and for now, i give it a rating of 8/10. Keep up the good work Stevenb and PLEASE write another chaper on A+ Amy - it's still my ABSOLUTE favourite :o) (8/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2006)
- Thanks naughty - I am an amateur author that just wants to contribute to other people's enjoyment. When I update Amy - you'll be the first to know.
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2006 |
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Reviewing your own story is a very no-class move, and you also showed that your opinion sucks. Granted, mkemse expresses himself badly, but his review was accurate. I do think he graded you too high, but then he's more generous than I am. Here's an idea — why don't you create another persona and give yourself another '10' to balance off this one? (6/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 27, 2006)
- Screw you curtis -- you have offered NOTHING. No suggestions and No insight. You have given a review which points-out no grammatical corrections – philosophical arguments – or educated objections of any kind. You have given me no ideas about what I should consider changing, expanding, re-working or anything! You have merely demonstrated your own pathetic lack of function.
You're damn right I gave it a 10 - and over 13,285 have seen MY story within six days of it being posted - so go fuck yourself if you can't summon the Balls to contribute!
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| Reviewer:
slutsteph
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2006 |
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girl also thinks the potential is here for a very good story. It will be interesting to see how the author uses Sarah. At the moment, she seems like an inconvenience. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2006)
- Thank You!!! Finally a real review.
Based on your comments I will certainly consider ways in which I can bring Sarah more into the picture.
And for all of you watching - that is how we write reviews.
P.S. - slutsteph, please lower your review to a 'Six' when and if you read this reply - just so we can prove a point. :)
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| Reviewer:
USMC4ME
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 21, 2006 |
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This is a well written story - There are not many MF/f around on this site, and even fewer that are willing to move the characters beyond the 2-Deminsional realm. Overall I'd give it a nine, however since the early reviewers decided to take out the own frustrations in life out on the author - I'll bump it up to perfect 10.
!!!ENJOY!!!
(10/10)
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| Reviewer:
La Toya
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 20, 2006 |
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Not a bad start, but lets see were you take it before I raise my review (6/10)
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- Replied by:
USMC4ME
(Edit) (Oct 23, 2006)
- How about telling me something useful... For instance, where there any grammatical errors I could fix? Was the action not right? Was there something missing, anything I could re-work or change? ANYTHING AT ALL THAT MIGHT CONSTITUTE A REAL REVIEW?!?
Thanks for the insight Dumbass!
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