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A tale to tell
Author: Helen D' Rago
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(Added on Jan 9, 2007)
(This month 83057 readers) (Total 127281 readers) |
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Reflections on the training and rituals of boytoy and slave by His Mistress. In several parts. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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45% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
born-for-pain
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 14, 2008 |
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I found your stories when I came into the predicament of being ordered to look for some stories while being in chastity. I looked for femdom stories of female authors only, and you immediately became my favorite author.
Please write a thousand more stories about you keeping your slaveboy.
I haven't read such a great POV of egoistic sadism since de Sade himself, I think, I absolutely love your attitude.
(9/10)
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| Reviewer:
cbtboyuk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 21, 2007 |
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i agree with the last reviewer, Ma'am - in that i can see the other's points about style, but the story certainly does it for me. To be honest, i spent much of my first reading sincerely wondering whether it was fiction (naive boy - i eventually decided that a slave treated like this would just die of exhaustion!). As a collared boy in a gay Master/slave relationship, femdom isn't really my thing as such, but there's no denying my reaction to this boy's suffering - the cbt and chastity stuff in particular. i'd agree i'd love to read a direct account of one of the long, formal cbt/tease and denial sections. Thank you though for many hours of pleasure. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
caged
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 16, 2007 |
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I understand the criticisms that some have made, but the story certainly works for me. What I like most I think is that it really conveys the domme's pleasure in the situation and her disregard for the slave's suffering. Hot. More more more please :) (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 16, 2007)
- Thank you dear for the nice review.
I am glad that my story worked for you but sweetie if I seem to you to be callously quite uncaring towards the boy. <giggles.> well maybe, its just because well, sometimes I really am.
Anyway thanks again
Helen
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| Reviewer:
slavepat78
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 15, 2007 |
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Fantastic story, oh boy what i would give for this story to be true.....from a real slave. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2007)
- Thank you dear for your comment and review.
Its nice to hear from other slaves about how they react to my writing and when my website is finaly up and running you may be able to see that certain things may indeed be quite true. <grin>
H
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| Reviewer:
Worthless
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 14, 2007 |
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Great story. I hope to see a LOT more. Love the constant punishment and denial. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2007)
- Thank you for the review of my story W
I am always grateful when folks take the time to leave feedback and I do hope to send more soon.
Kind regards
Helen
- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2007)
- Thank you for the review of my story W
I am always grateful when folks take the time to leave feedback and I do hope to send more soon.
Kind regards
Helen
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| Reviewer:
tyjord
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 12, 2007 |
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So much potential! There is not much more i can say about the writing style that hasn't already been said by previous reviewers. I enjoyed the story quite a bit, but did feel as if it wasn't going anywhere. This is just an observation from me, but I find that some writers can get so cought up in what they find enjoyable in their story, that they just mention the same things over and over. That seems to be what is happening here. Try to remember that while writing what you enjoy is important, you have to maintain your audience's interest. More descriptions of "J"'s various punishments would probably help. For example, you mention his night in the garage, in "harsh" bondage. Why not describe that bondage? Let's not leave too much to the reader's imagination. Overall though, I enjoyed the story and can't wait to read more. Thank you for sharing it with us. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2007)
- Thank you or taking the time to review for me.
The picture for me is becoming clearer as I read these reviews and I think I will need to change certain things in my writing style and after part 2 which has already been sent up maybe I will.
Anyway thanks again
Helen
- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2007)
- .
- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2007)
- .
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| Reviewer:
trainmanretep
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 12, 2007 |
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it actually became a chore to read. Too many repetitions so it actually got boring. The only reason I continued reading was the hope that somewhere down the line there would be some "meat" to the story. Sorry, while story line is great, execution is poor. For one, instead of repeating over and over about the "uniforms" and treatment/reaction to beating the front of his thighs, a short paragraph on how this boy got into the situation he is in would have been nice.
(5/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 12, 2007)
- Thanks for the review, point taken
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| Reviewer:
enslaved25
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 11, 2007 |
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A tremendous start, but more details needed now of the tortures, plus perhaps more dialogue of J's whimpering pleas, how be begs for mercy and his mistresses strict put-downs. But very enjoyable, although you need to proof read it to eliminate some sentences that don't scan.
(8/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 11, 2007)
- Thank you for your review and comments.
certainly I agree about the proof reading and hope to have part 2 up and available in a very short time.
I do intend to change the 'style' a little to include more dialogue, and a more intimate feel but in the meantime I am happy that my efforts are not completely wasted.
Helen
PS. I thought I had a proof reader of sorts but I think he has a lot on his mind recently and I will have to go over stuff again myself.
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| Reviewer:
PoppetToday
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 10, 2007 |
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I agree with Jip about direct action - the narrators thoughts became very repetative, but the story/ideas were wonderful. I would love to read more. I hope for more updates soon. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 10, 2007)
- Thank you Poppet,
I appreciate the constructive criticism and the fact that you took time to write the review.
I have just sent part 2 up to the site and it should hopefully be up soon.
Perhaps I shall make the later parts first person acounts after all.
Anyway Kind regards
Helen
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| Reviewer:
jip
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 10, 2007 |
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Mixed feelings about the writing style.
Believe that a direct action with conversation would put more live in the story, but this is only a personal opinion. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 10, 2007)
- Thank you for your review and critique. As a new writer I need all the feedback I can get and I do appreciate people taking the time to give it.
As to my writing style, I understsnd what you mean in a sense but I wrestled with just how to approach this as a telling of often past events and my reflections on them.
I think as my story progresses I will probably intoduce to the reader more "flashback" style examples and will be able to adapt to a more 1st person telling.
In any event we shall see how it progresses.
Kind regards
Helen
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| Reviewer:
sissymaid
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2007 |
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great story Miss Helen,i envy slave j so much,wish i had been taken ownership of like he was at such a young age.now iam 30 years old i still would love to find a position in a Domme house like j has.look forward to reading more about his life.i can almost see him now in them tiny skirts and short,lol,very cute.bet them short hem lines struggle to hide his chastity device. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Helen D
(Edit) (Jan 9, 2007)
- Thank you Dear, both for your kind words and the encouragement you offered.
I am a new writer here and I appreciate all the feedback I can get. LOL
You sound like a very sincere person and I think you will find a suitable Domme soon.
Anyway,
Kind regards
Helen d' Rago
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