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Attitude adjustment
Author: Memento
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(Added on Apr 6, 2007)
(This month 71841 readers) (Total 109579 readers) |
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Anne gets a mental and physical makeover |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
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11% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Martiniman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2011 |
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Very graphic but goes nowhere. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 16, 2009 |
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Again, this submission is not a story, but a summing up of tortures inflicted on someone, held together with some sort of narrative that surely cannot pass for a tale.
Writing isn't that bad, although a broadening of the vocabulary wouldn't hurt.
I've read better from Memento.
JJ (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
PuppyDoog
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 2, 2008 |
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Very entertaining punishments. I agree that dialogue/slower pace would make the torture more delicious, but I also enjoyed the fast build and conclusion. Keep writing! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 9, 2007 |
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I agree with Snark's comment. The punishments were good and exciting, but slow it down a bit with more description. Otherwise, a very exciting tale. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Snark
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 8, 2007 |
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Nicely done,but...this story could be easily expanded with greater detail of each of the chastisements. While this would likely require the story to be broken into multiple chapters, that too, would improve it. I concur with the previous reviews: it's more of a treatment of a story than the story itself. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
azrlg17
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 7, 2007 |
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Much too fast. It reads almost like the author made a bet how many different forms of torture he could squeeze in per page. Almost nothing of the feelings, motivations or backgrounds of the characters. Almost nothing of the victims reactions, no crying, begging, pleading, threatening,... Not even an escape attempt. No buildup. And the clichee ending of the victim loving it. Missing watersport story code. At least grammar and spelling are OK. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 6, 2007 |
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i can't pass fair judgement based on this 1 part, i hope you plan to add more at which time i will revise my review (7/10)
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