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Daddy
Author: Alexia_F
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(Added on May 13, 2007)
(This month 80168 readers) (Total 115080 readers) |
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A Girl gets kidnap, and is transformed in to the fuckdoll her new owner wants her to be. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
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| Reviewer:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 6, 2007 |
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A bunch of long paragraphs does not make a story! You need a plot, good spelling, and proper grammar. Oh, and it is very tacky to give yourself a "10" !! (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alexia_f
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 19, 2007 |
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I tryied to make my perfect erotic story using my ideas, and other sotries ideas as well (10/10)
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- Replied by:
pr0nto
(Edit) (May 20, 2007)
- Nothing wrong with drawing inspiration, but you straight-up copied from others. That's called plagiarism and is very frowned upon.
Yours: Just think, Slut....she was a virgin. And the only intimacy she'll ever know in her entire life, is that which comes from being brutally gang-raped. And," he finished with a sad smile, "it's all because of you!" My eyes filled with guilt and tears. "Slut....I own you. And I will own you for the rest of your life...or until I tire of you and send you off to the Middle East to join your friend there."
"Second Place" by Terri Madison: "Just think, Terri....she was a virgin. And the only intimacy she'll ever know in her entire life, is that which comes from being brutally gang-raped. And," she finished with a sad smile, "it's all because of you!" Terri's eyes filled with guilt and tears. "Do think about that, next time you decide to enlist someone's help in stopping me. Remember this, Terri....I own you. And I will own you for the rest of your life...or until I tire of you and send you off to the Middle East to join your friend there."
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| Reviewer:
sadiejones
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 17, 2007 |
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I greatly love the theme of a a daughter becoming her fathers slave and being forced to do things that would not happen in real life (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Alexia_f
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- It's not a father daughter story.. it's a man making me his sexual fuckdoll, and likes me to call him Daddy, It makes it more morbid and maybe later on I could write about why he wants me to call him that..
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| Reviewer:
pr0nto
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 15, 2007 |
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Wow, way to totally plagiarize a bunch of stuff from "Second Place" by Terri Madison. (1/10)
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- Replied by:
Alexia_f
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- I ws reading a bunch of stories.. I liked a lot of them... but could find one that made it perfect for me... So I decided to write my own story, inspired and containing what I liked about other texts, In some I use my own ideas, other times I used other ideas from the stories I liked, and I;n some cases I just found the writing so perfect I used it as a base for what I wrote.. I have no problem in recognizing I use sometimes, someone elses ideas or text, and added some of my own ideas and thoughts on it, like I said, I wanted to make a perfect erotic story for me, that I decided to now share it with the world.. I'm really sorry if this ofended you in someway, but still, I am not going to change it... since I am not hiding the fact I'm using in some few cases someone elses text... Love to all- Alexia_f
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| Reviewer:
Crowheart
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 14, 2007 |
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Grammar is not your enemy, you know...? And there are things like questionmarks, commas and full stops, too.
All in all, the story has potential, but for my taste, it's too much an enumeration and has too little feeling in it.
How did it all begin? Who is this omnious "Daddy"? Why that girl? And what does she feel? The parts where you describe her feelings are stereotypic and quite unrealistic.
Like I said, an interesting idea - but it needs some work.
EDIT: I just saw that English isn't your first language, which makes some mistakes understandable. Perhaps you should find yourself a beta reader? Try to find someone at the forums - I'm sure someone'll be glad to help you :) (2/10)
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- Replied by:
Alexia_f
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- If you want you could help me out with some grammar, and ideas.. I have some ideas writen down, but I haven't made them into text... I would be happy if you or anyone could help me out... you can write me an email, if you want
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| Reviewer:
ultimatesubbie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 14, 2007 |
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Well done! Can't read to see more..... (8/10)
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- Replied by:
Alexia_f
(Edit) (May 19, 2007)
- Im glad you liked my text, you can help me out with the grammar and spelling please, also if you like, you could help me in writing more ideas I have, I have a lot, but haven't made them into stories yet... I'm really happy you liked my storie since I'm trying to write my perfect erotic text... and it's good to know other people have the tastes I do, since most stories are not what I'm personally looking for... I guess I have a rather different fetish than most people.. fell free to write to me at my email.
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