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Anna
Author: CarrieAnne
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(Added on Jun 17, 2007)
(This month 50455 readers) (Total 64886 readers) |
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The rape of Anna, by a man who wants to know her better. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 19, 2007 |
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An interesting turn at the end (so to speak *grin*). Absolutely worth reading, and, hopefully, continuing. Will they meet again? (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Kingfisher
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 19, 2007 |
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Quite engrossing. Short and to the point of excitement. Am sure this type of interludes do happen behind closed doors and goes unreported.
Keep up the good work.
Mr.Sam P.
kinkykingfisher@yahoo.com (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
H Dean
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2007 |
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OH but you are going to kick yourself after reading my review. I have read your writing before and it is so much better than this story displays. I hope youa re ready, Carrie...
First thing is that the language was too passive. This definately needed a more immediate language. But the real mistake you made...overuse of pronouns. It seemed that every sentence was begun with "He" or "She" doing or thinking something. It was quite a distraction.
Now that my bash is over...I really liked the slow deliberation of this story. It brought more interest to a common theme than usual. Also, her reaction when it was all over was quite brilliant. It was something I can really see being in someone's thoughts.
Like Lews...or Mad, whomever it was...I would like to see this expanded upon. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) (Jun 18, 2007)
- Passive voice always bit my ass in college papers, too! I guess I was in a hurry to get it all down in the middle of night last week. LOL I had a dream ... yada yada yada. I used "He" a lot because I didn't give the male a name in that first chapter. And, as I mentioned to Mad Lews, I fucked up by putting him in an apartment. I am going to be changing that in a note at the beginning of the second chapter.
I am sorry I let you down! I promise the next chapters will be better ... with more characters and a lot more sex!
- Replied by:
H Dean
(Edit) (Jun 19, 2007)
- Why not edit the first part and resubmit it? You don't even have to eliminate the pronouns, just rearrange thow they are used.
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| Reviewer:
Mad Lews
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 17, 2007 |
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Nice fantasy with a rapist you could learn to like and ending with an interesting question.
DO you plan to continue? (8/10)
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- Replied by:
heycarrieanne
(Edit) (Jun 18, 2007)
- Yes Mad Lews, I do plan to continue this story. I only wish I hadn't put him in an apartment. I think I may move him to a boat! Would that be wrong?
- Replied by:
Mad Lews
(Edit) (Jun 19, 2007)
- I wouldn't, an apartment could be challenging.
A kidnapped girl kept hidden in an apartment while the rapist battles with the need to get rid of her and all the while developing feelings for her. Then there's her reaction to the situation. It could be both challenging and an interesting read.
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