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The New World
Author: sharon pinder
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(Added on Nov 2, 2008)
(This month 111159 readers) (Total 147619 readers) |
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a mother and daughter stumble into a country were sex has no limits and they discover they are not the people they thought they were |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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14% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 16, 2009 |
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After a rather shaky start, this here tale's pieces fall into place nicely.
Bar the many spelling/grammar mistakes, "The New World" is an interesting read.
JJ (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 16, 2009 |
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nice to read astory well written that flows and that is a bit different then others (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
a.broadsword
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2008 |
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I guess English is your native language, rather than Merican as spoken by some readers of this site, because I found it excellent.
Both the language but especially the imagery, it all sounds so real.
The last thing it needs is the dead hand of an a Merican Editor changing Queueing to Standing in line and other such Orwelian standardized Americanizms.
I look forward to reading more of your work. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Chuckdom19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2008 |
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The basic idea for the story is certainly nothing new: both in fiction and in real life, such things happen. The execution of the story, though, leaves a few things to be desired. If English is not your native tongue, your usage is understandable. If it is, you need a strong editor to help correct the myriad errors in usage and spelling, punctuation and structure. This distracts from the reader's pleasure (the idea is to make the communication of the idea as easy for the reader as possible). (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
longshanks
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 9, 2008 |
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The new world is an amazing series and each chapter is orginal fresh and leaves me begging for more. cant wait to see if chapter 12 follows and if the ideas remain original, fresh and have me reading both erect and one handed. sharon, i LOVE YOU. xx (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
slave2isis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 6, 2008 |
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very intriguing story full of interesting subjects ,love the concept of power corrupts,would like to see this increase to the extent of entire family been humilated and degraded at her whim to satisfy this new confident Goddess MISTRESS PERHAPS SHE SIT UPON A THRONE WEARING JEWELS OBTAINED FROM FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIEND TILL SHE BECOME THE NEW ENTITY WALLOWING IN DECANDANCE AND ABSOLUTE POWER it a male sub by the way sorry caps locked who is very mashochistic and loves the genre of Your creative writing and cant wait for further instalments it can say personaly it would love contrasts to be explored how the teenager has become oblivious to family and views them as her comodities to snuff if the mood amuses her,perhaps discribing her attire in greater detail wearing jadore or esclusive mothers favourite perfume ,her sister extensive designer labels and chanel glasses accend with swavourski crystal and jewels fabulous massive jewels oops a fetish of its crept out,sat impearious on her throne she reflects on The NEW LAND anyhow well done Maam it prays youre a domme (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Falcon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 6, 2008 |
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November 3rd: Author sets up an interesting scenario and keeps the action moving forward. Good description of erotic details. But story is very short so far. I would need to know more about where this story is going to give a higher rating. I hope there will be more chapters. Also a good spell checker and grammar checker (such as is included with Microsoft Word) should be used.
Added November 5th: Story has 4 chapters now. I think author really needs to work on making her story more believable. Daughter's attitude toward her own mother is not credible as presented here. Also not credible is the country where events take place and the fact that mother and daughter take so long to recognize each other. There is a contradiction between this delayed recognition and the plan daughter apparently had from the beginning. Author needs to set the stage so that we understand the situation better. Author needs to develop the character of the daughter more so that we understand her attitude and behaviors. Description of the lesbian sex practices is well written. (6/10)
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