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May's White Whore
Author: sergius
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(Added on Dec 20, 2009)
(This month 56896 readers) (Total 71152 readers) |
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Little does the young white woman know that her meeting with a beautiful black girl will change her life forever. For soon enough she founds herself not only passionately in love with the colored May, she also learns that she's a submissive. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
DarkPoet
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 29, 2009 |
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Nicely done and has me hooked wanting to read more soon. Jimmy has already pointed out the (in my opinion minor) inconsistiencies so I'll skip those. Keep on writing :)) (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 24, 2009 |
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A good start to what could become an excellent story.
Although I sense some inexperience at work here, due to the sometimes awkardly structured sentences and the contrast between the effort to cram too many irrelevant details into some descriptions while skipping needed details in other parts, giving the tale a sometimes distant, rushed feeling.
Two things had me wondering also: the fact that our mystery girl's parent's shop goes bust because of the depression, but our girl starts a business in the same line of work and everything works gloriously.
Secondly, I would like to know how May and our girl can get from central Manhattan to Brooklyn without having to switch trains. The only way this can be done is when the University mentioned is the building sitting at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, across from City Hall and around the corner of Park Row. But I doubt that this building existed back in the early thirties...
All in all, a pretty decent start that has me wanting for more.
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
fenris11
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 23, 2009 |
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Huh it's hot! (10/10)
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