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Entonyan Entrapment
Author: obohobo
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(Added on Mar 21, 2010)
(This month 52697 readers) (Total 58904 readers) |
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Stealing the money so temptingly laid out would have brought punishment and given them the hold on me they wanted, but that would have been mild compared to what I received for the insults and racial slurs I levied on the owner and his people. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 1 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (7/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 12, 2010 |
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The rattling and screams you hear in the background, is the decent story, hidden somewhere in the confines of this text, desperately trying to get to the surface.
"Entonyan Entrapment" is well written --as are most of obohobo's stories-- but the set-up is rather shaky, the storyline has enough holes to put a Swiss cheese to shame and most characters, when performing a 360 degrees turn, show a paper-thin profile.
I can still -to an extent-- live with getting a recently abducted girl past immigration, even with Child-Focus lurking around every corner.
But para-gliding a reporter to right in front of the main character's hotelroom door without anybody noticing, especially the parents of said main character who surely are aware of the precarious situation of their daughter, seems a tad far fetched.
On top of the characters having a paper-thin profile, they seem to go through a lot of effort to make caricatures out of themselves, by having conversations taken out of every z-grade TV-movie made over the past ten years...
Luckily, thanks to obohobo's imagination, the story has its moments though, which made the read not an overly unpleasant one. It was just hard to get rid of all the questionmarks that kept popping-up while I moved further into the tale.
So-so story, from an author who has shown he has better up his sleeve...
JJ (7/10)
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