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Penny for Your Body
Author: Walbiy
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(Added on Feb 1, 2011)
(This month 88122 readers) (Total 113617 readers) |
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Penny, a 14 year old girl, is kidnapped by a highschool friend and turned into a slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ljej1989
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 13, 2015 |
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this story should continue i want to see more (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
mike uk reader
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 19, 2011 |
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It's a big welcome to this new author to the BDSM library. This first chapter part is a little short. However.I feel sure it will develop into a very good erotic tale from someone with that extra bit of talent of fabricating in detail a story that keeps you very much interested and wanting more more more. I just hope we are not like some other authors waiting months. Looking forward to Ann and her stepdaddy enjoying little Penny with plenty of humiliation, torture and sex. Well done indeed my top marks are given for entertaining me thus far on a rainy day back here in england. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
FP37
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 13, 2011 |
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This could be a very interesting scenario. Ann is obsessed with Penny. She calls her “an angelic figure” and plots a ten week campaign to ensnare her, going to the trouble of turning the entire school against Penny. Young Penny is her ‘obscure object of desire’ and it would be very interesting if this story turns out to be more than just a lot of chains and spanking. The relationship between a dom and sub can be intriguing in the hands of a talented writer, and I feel our author may have identified the subtle games to be played.
I’m not saying I’m not looking forward to a lot of bondage and sexual humiliation (who doesn’t?) I just feel that there is a lot of mileage in an ambiguous relationship developing between Ann and her potential submissive. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 9, 2011 |
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This is one of those stories where the chopped-up, documentary style writing works very well. Only thing which I feel could need some more attention are the conversations.
The "9 1/2 Weeks Later" right after Ann and stepdad get out of the 'playroom' had me chuckling. Nice touch.
Handing out a good eight, but I have a feeling it will go up once the next chapters are posted, because "Penny For Your Body" -another nice touch, the title- has tons of promise. But hey, so had communism on paper, so let's wait and see.
JJ (8/10)
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- Replied by:
walbiy
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2011)
- Thank you. I have a question and a comment. How would you improve the conversations? That has never been my strong point as a writer. Second, it was supposed to be 9 1/2 months not weeks. The beginning takes place at the beginning of an American school year, about mid August, and the later part at the end of said school year, about late May. This will be corrected at the same time as I add chapter 2. I am glad you liked my title.
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| Reviewer:
bullfinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 6, 2011 |
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Look forward to more chapters. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Blushing slut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 5, 2011 |
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I liked the constant counterpoint of changing scenes. Ann's private agenda adds excitement into the plot, because of the inevitable slavery that Penny will be forced into. The end of the chapter really makes you wanting more. Well done. Hope Chapter 2 arrives soon (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 2, 2011 |
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This could become a 10 but really part 1 doesn't do anything, its a prequel to the real action, almost, and I do wonder if anyone will read part 2.
It would have been much better to submit all the parts of the story together or at least part 2 but for now it's a 6 (6/10)
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