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| Ratings and Reviews: |
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of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
jonsmithie22
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 24, 2011 |
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Thanks for writing. I've enjoyed the first two chapters, and I hope you have more on the way soon. It's very well written. The characters are believable and engaging. I find Liz's process of discovery quite arousing.
My only complaint was the interlude at the diner. You make what would in reality have been a vicious and terrifying sexual assault play like little more than overly enthusiastic love bondage. When Liz and Julia simply laugh off the assault it makes them seem callous, given that the other women had been raped or forced to give oral sex to the thugs. I'm all for non-consensual fantasy, but this seemed unrealistic and out of place.
Speaking of fantasy, I'm hoping Liz will allow herself to be stripped naked and stringently bound, and that things may at some point go a little farther than she's really comfortable with. . .
Hope to read more soon. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
freddie_clegg
(Edit) (May 25, 2011)
- Thanks for the review. I take your point on the diner scene and maybe it is out of place. When writing, I felt it was a good idea to have a counterpoint to the consensual nature of the club but I'm sorry if it didn't work for you. The rest of the tale focuses on the consensual side - there will be more soon- and I'm thinking about a sequel too.
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 10, 2011 |
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A well thought out story with good charactization and plenty of detail helping the reader to think they were present. Just two small things though:-
1. Yes i also found the print a little on the small size. Ok so i do need to get a new pair of glasses but a larger print would be nice.
2. At the beginning of the first chapter Liz states she met about six people then goes onto list 5 (so five is about six so no probs). But when she discovers the bondage session she states there were five of her new friends tied up, so it is clear she did meet 6 people on her moving in day just Mandy never got mentioned.
Other than that a great story and i am glad to learn that more is on its way. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
freddie_clegg
(Edit) (May 10, 2011)
- I haven't really found how to fix the font size, 'cos its leaving my machine at 10 point which should be OK. I'll try 12 for the next story.
Sorry about the continuity error - you're absolutely right! Actually given that Mandy played such a great role in founding the group she doesn't appear much in the tale, I'll make sure she turns up in any sequel... :-)
Thanks for the great score and the fact that you enjoyed it in spite of the slight problems.
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (May 14, 2011)
- Sorry, Freddie, but 10 point is not okay. The 'industry standard' is 12, and for the past couple of years I've needed 14. I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd post to accommodate the geriatric generation.
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| Reviewer:
SamCurious
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 3, 2011 |
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enjoyable but I had a very hard time reading the tiny print! (6/10)
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- Replied by:
freddie_clegg
(Edit) (May 4, 2011)
- Thanks for the comment - I'll try to fix the print size in later chapters. I hope it doesn't spoil your enjoyment too much.
Cheers.
Freddie
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| Reviewer:
scoripo49
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 2, 2011 |
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Thought it was very well though out and would love to see many more chapters with greater interaction between all of the charters. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
freddie_clegg
(Edit) (May 3, 2011)
- Thanks, Scoripo... there's a new set of chapters on their way to the site right now....
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