hi. re: relationships, as a subbie, i had some success with something that might be worth sharing. it can be hard for a subbie who doesn't live in a high density area to find a suitable Dom within realistic relationship distance. also, a subbie may find itself in a relationship with a Dom who it loves and needs, but the Dom is not aware of how much further the relationship could be taken. and the subbie may feel out of place in telling its Dom how things could be. the effective solution i have found is to type up an OWNERS MANUAL and give it to a person who may make a good prospective Dom. anybody with whom you might be dating may make a very good Dom if they understood you better. i know that people who regard themselves as the "professional expert Dom" may object here. but realistically, these are natural traits that exist unmanifested in many people. unmanifest for lack of a true D/s relationship. if you are a hopeful subbie without a Dom in your area, consider dating vanilla type people casually. prepare and print out an OWNERS MANUAL describing in detail the privilidges of a Dom as you see them, your limits, safety concerns, relationship philosophy, etc. then if you find someone who you might like to be submissive to, give them a copy of your OWNERS MANUAL as a present. i can assure you that even if they don't feel they fit the role, they will at least be deeply touched and your rejection will be handled in a very kind and gentle way. if this happens, just tell them that if they should experience a change of heart, you would like to hear from them again, and leave it at that. don't take it personally. it is merely a statement about how they feel about themself at that time. not a reflection on your worth as a subbie. also, if you are in a relationship with a Dom who doesn't understand that things could be taken further or if you just want to help your Dom to better understand other things about you, and you don't want to lecture them about it, organize your thoughts into an OWNERS MANUAL and give it to them for reading entertainment. for sure, quality posessions usually come with owners manuals, right? i have included the text from my personal owners manual here to offer some ideas to help you get started writing your own. OWNERS MANUAL for Your new submissive slave SLAVE USE AND PURPOSE: a slave is a giver. it's high of the heart is to give pleasure and enjoyment. in an ongoing relationship. through its own sincere efforts and sacrifice. it can cross dress for You some if You would enjoy that. with some discipline from You, it can service You orally if You enjoy getting sucked. and as it gets more familiar with You, it can learn to swallow for You. it is not interested in any kind of reciprocation, whatsoever. it is strictly a subbie and dosn't want to be serviced, itself. it can also cook & clean at Your place. it makes great omlets. but would learn to cook and serve what You want. it can kneel and feed and wait on You. kneel beside You and feed You grapes. please let the slave try to spoil You and do other non-sexual kind of things for You too. MASSAGE: You might enjoy requiring it to rub Your back for a time or massage Your feet? HOUSEWORK: it can be required to do inside household cleaning chores for You. like cleaning a bathroom for example. FOOD AND COOKING it is a fairly good cook. it can prepare and serve a meal to be eaten only by You. and kneel and feed if You like or wait on You while You eat. it will not sit and eat with You, but if You want, You can throw some food on the floor for it to eat. regarding meal planning, if it should surprise You by showing up when scheduled with groceries required to cook something for You that hasn't been discussed - then the cost of the groceries is at its own expense. if it gets Your permission to cook something and pick up the groceries needed on the way over, the grocery receipt will be left out, and You can re-imburse the slave if You choose and if You want cooking to be an ongoing. TIME AND PLACE CONSIDERATIONS: it is available mostly on weekdays during the day. evenings and weekends are awkward. it can only meet at Your place because it doesn't live alone. several meetings a week on weekdays during the day - of a few hours at a time to service Your sexual and other needs would be no problem. PAIN AND DEVOTION: slave does not enjoy pain. pain sucks. but that's the investment of devotion that it makes for both of U/us. and its joy is giving and empowrering You. Please know that discipline and pain can be good for the relationship. accepting Your discipline and willingly enduring whatever level of pain is needed to please and satisfy You is its expression of devotion to You. and by disciplining the slave for Your enjoyment, You express Your understanding of it and Your acceptance of it's devotion to You. and some severe discipline is necessary in the beginning and from time to time in the relationship to help it open its heart and commit to You emotionally. for a first suck, it will need to be slapped til it starts to sob or whimper for You before it will submit to having Your cock in its mouth. and if You aren't getting off right away, You might consider lifting its head away from Your cock from time to time and slapping it across the face or upper head a few times til it sobs or whimpers for You some. it will feel a lot better for You when You put Your cock back in its mouth. You can whip [don't be afraid to make it hurt alot if You enjoy that]. You can kick. You can slug it in the stomach. it won't break. grab it by the hair and throw it across the room! as long as You're enjoying Yourself, You don't even need a reason. but please, YOU be be boss and do what YOU enjoy. these suggestions are here so You don't feel limited while You're having fun. SAFETY, BODY MARKS, & INJURY CONCERNS: it has been recently tested disease free and is drug free, of course. it can service You orally without a condom. if You require anal submission of Your slave, please consider getting new tests for hiv & hep and use condoms carefully. regarding discipline, You should feel free to slap and spank and inflict pain as is needed to please and satisfy Yourself. when slapping the face, please use an open hand to avoid bruising the eyes or damaging the teeth. if You feel the need to slap hard enough to make the slave see stars, please consider slapping along the side of the head or back of the head. when using a whip, please select a multi-stranded flogger that can inflict pain without body marks. it lives with a woman and body marks would make ongoing meetings like this difficult. a paddle can also be used effectively for discipline. there are a lot of nerve endings in the feet. and perhaps maximum pain with no body marks can be inflicted by full force catwhipping and paddleing of the soles of the feet when You you want deep sacrifice or when You want to finish Your slave off, forcing it into subspace. please refrain from cutting the slave to avoid pernenant scars. if You require blood for Your visual enjoyment, please consider carefully piercing fleshy areas of skin and muscle with a narrow sharpened pointed music wire or sharpened knitting needle kind of thing. sterilized, of course. and please do not pierce deep towards vital organs. piercing along the skin or muscle areas only. perhaps You might enjoy piercing around the navel area for Your visual enjoyment of a blood trickle from the naval? COMMUNICATION: as Master, You have the authority to communicate sternly at any time. any order to do anything can be issued in a simple stern command statement to "do it", punctuated with a slap across the face if You prefer, and is quite acceptable. You should feel free to be Yourself. You don't have to always be stern and condescending. Unless of course You prefer to. BONDAGE AND RESTRAINTS: perhaps You might enjoy tying the slave face down on Your bed, wrists and ankles lashed down under the box spring and around the legs of the bed frame, with the feet just off the end of the mattress? this exposes the back, ass, inner thighs, leg calfs, and feet - all vulnerable areas for catwhipping or paddling. the bed restraint system is perhaps the least useful if You are interested in forcing the slave into subspace. a doggie position restraint system works best here if You want to rig it up. or perhaps second best is in the standing position, with its hands hung from an eye-screw in a ceiling joist and its ankles tied so it can't kick - exposing the arm pits, along with most of its body for Your discipline and Your pleasure. there are safety considerations with the hanging position - if the slave should pass out, unable to support its weight on its feet, then hanging by ropes or chains around its wrists even briefly could cause nerve damage to the hands. leather suspension cuffs designed for this would reduce or eliminate risk of injury. bdsm restraint hardware, floggers, and other specialized toys are available on the net. SUBACE: if You enjoy full emotional surrender from Your slave, You might consider forcing it into subspace. This is an endorphin induced state that the body uses to cope with pain. The elevated endorphin level also induces a euphooria and enhances emotional deep surrender to Master as well. Symptoms of subspace are mild shock, dizzyness, delerium, or almost no reaction to pain. You can read up on subspace on the net. basically, it involves hard discipline and pain over a prolonged period of perhaps an hour or more. starting out with mild discipline til numbness sets in, then finishing off the slave with full force brutal hits of maximum pain level til it goes dizzy or delerious from the pain. some restraing positions work better than others here. monitor the its attitude closely. it may react to pain, but You should sense acceptance of Your will at the same time. arrogance, selfishness, protest, or bad any attitude Master doesn't like may be corrected by pausing the discipline briefly, then stern verbal communication accompainied with hard slaps across the face or head to anesthesize before resuming other brutality. if the slave displays panic, then pausing the discipline briefly and allowing it to calm down before resuming lightly then gradually working back up to harder more brutal discipline may help. the scene should end if the slave goes limp, dizzy, passes out, or stops reacting to pain. this is subspace. full recovery may be gradual, but the slaves attitude will be at its best at this time. You can have it service You as soon as it is physically able if You want. continuing brutality beyond this point may endanger deep shock. also regarding subspace, if Your feel Your slave was attracted to You before, You now have a total junky on your hands. Your slave will now find You more handsome/beautiful and more the center of its thoughts and emotions than perhaps You ever wanted from anybody. and congratulations, You also now have a pain slut on Your hands. over the next three to ten days or so, that endorphin high will transform into an endorphin withdrawl. Your slave now needs You to maintain balance. and if You don't discipline on a regular schedule, Your slave will experience nervous anxiety and severe emotional swings. You can keep Your slave on schedule or enjoy the freak show as it struggles with the withdrawl transition. as a Dom, it's Your choice. RETALIATION: You don't have to worry about the slave retaliating or getting aggravated. remember, Y/you are together consentually, right? You can relax while you discipline. please feel strong. there will be no backlash from the slave. if it can't handle harsh discipline, it would probably just beg You ease up or try to distract You by pleasing You some other way. no matter how brutal the scene, or how stressed the slave may seem, know that total forgiveness from Your slave is automatic when the it's over. You don't have to worry about being too hard on it - as long as you're enjoying yourself. TESTOSTERONE: it is true that administering discipline is good for Your testosterone level. testosterone can elevate Your mood and enhance Your sexual experience. and also helps keep Your heart, kidneys, liver, and lungs healthy. it's good for Your prostate, and keeps You young. so go ahead and enmacho yourself to the max. please know that You, Your vitality, and Your enjoyment are important to Your slave. please do what pleases You. please feel free to feel strong.
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