Synopsis:
Near the beautiful
I have been
crying all evening. I made one of the most difficult decisions in my life. I
have decided to send my child away.
How did it
come to that? Well, we have to some 20 years back to my own childhood. I was a
rebellious teenager. I ended up being a runaway. I was arrested. Once in jail I
focused on my life and knew that I had to turn my life around so I did not turn
out as my fellow inmates.
I graduated
high school and found a job. I met my former husband. In fact he was the first
man in my life. Today I can see that it was a kind of excuse to move out from
home. We got a son. All seems to go well. But 15 years later we divorced. We
simply outgrew each other. My husband travelled a lot due to his work, so we
agreed that our son – Bill - should stay with me.
It seemed
to work out fine for a long time. But some 6 months ago small things seemed to
change. He became distant from me. He stopped to talk about his school. He
started to date Brittany – a girl some streets away. I did not consider that to
be a problem. I know her mother. She is a single hardworking
mother like me.
Then a
month ago, I walked in to his room and found them having sex. Of course I was shocked.
They are only 16 years of age. That was when I began to find his behaviour suspicious.
I went through his room. I talked to Amber –
Something
had to be done? I have been consulting a psychologist since my divorce. So both
Amber and I showed up in his office and we discussed options of solutions.
First there was the possibility of a long term stay on a therapeutic boarding
school, but we were after all human being with televisions. The dog cages down
in Tecate like it was shown in NBC and 8 hour on a concrete floor in
He looked
through the websites of placement option for a short 3 week stay and he found
one on
It was out
of the country. First I was a little reluctant, but we searched all the
programs and Aspen’s program was too long and Anasazi’s program was undergoing
testing by a television show, so we did choose Medication Inlet’s bonding
program as they called it.
We called
them and after an hour doing some questionnaires on the computer, we both got
our children accepted to the program. The psychologist was also happy.
Apparently he gets commissions whenever he sends children off treatment – a
very widespread practice as he told us.
We had made
arrangements for them to be picked up by the escort division from the treatment
place at
Precise
This reassured
me a little and we went up to his room, where I woke him and introduced him to
the men. Then I went down and hide in the kitchen. I heard a cry and when I
looked out trough the keyhole when I heard them come down, I could see that he
was hooded and wearing both arm and legs restraints. It was a terrifying sight,
but also very calming because he has a violent temper. He got beaten in school
because he took on some guys bigger than him. I would not like to have him
fight with the escort team.
Still it was
very disturbing to have to hand your only child over to some strange men. I
have always told him: “Never talk to a stranger”. In a way this was against all
I have told him. I cried. Then I phoned his father. First he was surprised, but
he could understand my decision. He was very sorry that his work has taken up
so much of his time, so he hadn’t been there for me.
An hour
later, I got a phone call from Amber. She was also crying in the phone. I told
her to come over to me and we cried and sobbed for hours.
The escorts
phoned us about 6 hours later and told us that your children had arrived at the
facility. It was a kind of relief. Now I could focus on the parent seminar I
had to attend in order to be ready for my 2 weeks stays in
We arrived
in the airport and went over to the man holding the sign. We were about 20
people in the bus. Most of them were parents going there to visit their child
in the programs, but as it turned out we were 4 people who were going on a
wilderness expedition.
Mr.
Kaufmann was a very stern looking man. His boy was in the horsemanship program,
but he had decided to take his son out on this expedition because his boy was
not working the program. The letters, he was receiving was full of anger toward
his father placing him there. His hope was that this expedition would make his
son bond with him again.
Mrs.
Newborn had her daughter in the program. As it turned out her daughter had been
a part of the same street gang; Mr. Kaufmann’s son had been a part off. Opposite
the son of Mr. Kaufmann, she was done remarkable well in the program, but if
she could not find a partner with similar experiences in the program like her
self, she would be in danger of going back to her old ways, when she returned
to her old neighbourhood. Having someone to make sure that the after-care is
taken care off, when the child returns home is very important according to
staff at Medication Inlet.
We arrived
at the motel the facility owned. There we received our gear and outfit. Then we
meet with Mr. Krankenstrein – the therapist. We talked about teens and dating
and how to avoid them from having unprotected sex, stop their alcohol intake
etc. He showed us some tools. Even a wonderful designed chastity belt from
After our
therapist left we continued to talk. It was odd how similar our stories were.
We all were concerned parents working double shifts to buy the best for our
children. Somehow they anyway managed to slip off the road of purity and temperance.
It was odd. Then we all talked about our ex. It was late before we went to our
room.
The next
morning we waited for our transport to the campus. When a cart came with one of
the students, who were on a long-term stay, we got a shock. She was pulling
cart all dressed up like a human horse. When she saw her parents, they ran to
her and hugged her. We could hear them sob. They soon drove off. Then another
cart came – and another one.
Suddenly it
was Bill and Brittany, who pulled a cart into the parking yard. Of course, I
hugged him and I could see tears in his eyes too. “I love you. Oh my darling. I
love you.” I said. When I had comforted
him, I stood a step back, so I could see his outfit.
From top to
bottom: He had a head-harness on with blinkers and a bit gag in this mouth.
There were reins attach to the harness so a driver could control his
directions. His body was enclosed in a very heavy leather corset. It was laced
very tight. It could not believe that they had been able to put him in it. What
an unbelievable waist! There were D-rings on the side of the corset and small
chains were going to his arms which were cuffed and connect both to the corset
and the cart. A small detachable leather flap was going between his legs
covering his genitals. From the corset a leather strap was going up to a
leather collar which immobilized his head.
There was no reason for us to remove the gag and hear
them deny their actions by saying something like: “I can’t believe you did this
to me!”, “I don’t belong here!”, “I’m not learning anything; all they do is baby-sitting
me!”, “The kids here have much worse problems than mine!”,
“They have criminals, kooks, and drug addicts here!”
They are so cleaver at the parent seminars, but of
course they are use to deal with a lot of children with those problems. You may
wonder why I was so quick to accept my son being in such overwhelming
restraints. But during the seminars we also talked about the high number of
deaths in the industry. The fact is that children of dies every year when staff
members try to calm them down and have to restrain them. Not even cattle pods
and pepper spray which is fairly used at other behaviour manipulation
facilities seems to prevent these deaths.
That is why the staff at Meditation Inlet uses another
approach. When student arrives he or she is put in a discipline corset. They
are cuffed at hands and feet. Most of the air is compressed out their lunges which
make them less motivated to argue, fight and even run away.
Bill certainly looked unable to do something out of
order.
We loaded our gear and started to walk out. Soon we
left the main road and went on to a small track. Whenever it became too hard
for our children to pull the cart, a staff member came over with a whip and
gave them a lash or two. It seemed to motivate them. However, one time we had
to push in order to help them on a slippery part of the track. They were
reddish on their buttocks.
We were told by the staff members that we had to see
to that they got something to drink regularly and so we did. The students were
able to drink water despite the gag. They must have been trained very well
during the first week.
Then it was time for lunch. It was the philosophy of
Meditation Inlet that troubled youth needs to be controlled like smaller
children. We parent have to take control of them and then they have to earn our
trust again.
A staff member came over to show me how to free Bill
from the cart and maintain control over him. First I had to make sure that
there was a short chain going between the legs so he couldn’t run. Then I had
to take the chains to his hand and connect them to a D-ring on the back of the
corset. Finally I had to connect the cuffs on this upper arm to two other
D-rings on the corset, so his arms held into his body. When all these precautions
were made it was time for me to disconnect him from the cart.
When he was free the staff member showed me how to
control him by holding on to the chains. When I removed the gag, the first
thing he said was: “Mother. What have you done? Why have you put me here? This
has been so terrible. Please take me home.” What a typical example of the guilt
phase.
We also learned about the guilt phase at the seminar:
Sentences like: “If you really loved me, you’d bring me home!” or “You don’t
know how terrible it is here, or you’d get me out!” or “I'm going to starve;
the food is disgusting!” or “No one cares about me; staff do whatever they want
to me!” or “I’m treated like a prisoner!” or “You can’t believe the staff;
they’ll tell you anything in order to keep me here!” or “The kids here are a
bad influence on me. You should hear what they talk about!” was to expect from
children going through this phase.
I ignored his outcry. If I took notice, he did not
have to progress through the long, hard process of making real and lasting
changes. I knew from the seminars that is how children are expected to react.
We made lunch. Because it was a family camp we were
allowed to use some modern tools. As we were told it was a kind of balance.
Wilderness therapy with children only is a lot tougher due to the fact that
they can not leave the course. But at family camp the adults can bail out, so
they are a little softer here.
Amber and Brittany sat down with us. We were eating
when I asked him how his first week had been. Bill wouldn’t talk about it, so
“Mother
woke me when two large unknown women in the room. She left running like a
chicken with the head chopped off“. Amber would have been killed right at that
spot, if a look could kill.
Amber was
clearly in her anger phase. What would be the next sentence? “If you ever want
to see me again, you’d better get me out of here!”, “You’ll wish you’d never
done this to me!” or “I don’t want to be your child anymore!”
She went on
with her story. “Well they put a hood over my head and I was in darkness for
the next 8 hours. When they removed me they stretched on some kind of rack and
I got this damn corset on. They laced it so tight that I only could grunt yes
or no the first 24 hours. You can not even imagining how humiliating it was. I
wetted myself on the plane. Of course I had a diaper on, but anyway. I am 16
years old. They shouldn’t do so to us.”
“Well, they
did so to you because you were on a road towards the mortuary. We want to help
you to pull your lives together. Drinking alcohol in your age – what were in
your heads?”
“I have read the impact letter my mother wrote. It
would not happen again.”
Aha - The negotiation phase. Of course we were warned against this kind of
manipulation. They would say like: “If you bring me home, I promise there won’t
be anymore problems!”, “We can work out our problems better at home as a
family. We can all go to therapy together!”, “If I work hard, will you take me
home by...?” or “I’m willing to work on my problems, but can’t I do it at a
different school - one that will help me?”
“Don’t try
to fool us. Try and work with your problems instead. We won’t cave in.” I
looked at Amber and she nodded, which made
“For the
next 2 days it was group therapy, where we had to explain the content of the impact
letter to other students. We were not in the same group. We were forced to
confess or they all went down on us. Every intercourse were examined and
commented.”
“Then on
the third day we were taken to the stables. There they had an awful kind of
machine which they called “The walker”. It is a kind of a carousel with chains
hanging down from the ceiling. We were hooked up to it and order to go around
leaded by the chain, so we could get into shape. Bill would not go, so they
pierced him in his nipples and connected the chain to them. It was awful.”
I looked at
his breast. I had not noticed it before. Yes, there was a ring in each of his
nipples and they had put small bells to the rings. There had been so many new impressions
today, so I had not noticed. Amber was also shocked. I was about to say
something when a guard came over. I pointed at the bells.
“Oh. You
have signed consent to this in the enrolment contract. See here.” I must have
overlooked this paragraph in the contract. I turned to Bill. “I am so sorry. I
did not read the contract thorough it seems.”
He did not
even look at me. Amber broke the silence and told
“We were
forced to exercise the most of the day and continue to write in our journal in
the breaks. Then yesterday they had to take precautions against the increased
risk of Bill catching prostate cancer.”
I was a
huge question mark. How do they do that?
“Butt
plug?” I had not heard the term before.
“You know.
I kind of rubber thing which a stuffed up in your behind.”
My jaw
dropped. Amber was shocked too. Why did we not read that contract carefully? We
must have been in a lot of stress.
“Well, I
got my hood on and then I felt something vibrating down – down - you know
where.”
I wanted
her to stop her story, but a part of me did not. Parents should not know about
the sex-lives of their children. Neither should the children know about our
sex-lives. But I hate to admit it. Something was becoming wet on my own body.
“They later
told me that it was a vibrator so it would not hurt so much when Bill entered
me.” She wept again. “I tried to fight it, but it turned me on. I could not
help it.” It took some minutes before she got hold on herself again. “Then Bill
entered me. He gave me a good work over. I could feel his penis getting hotter.
It must have been when he came. He retracted, but then they continued to work
me over with the vibrator and brought me to a point, I have felt before. I
hated myself for caving into their treatment, but it was so nice. I have never
felt so before. It was a waves and waves of pleasure rolled through my body.”
“Honey - Slow down a little.” Amber tried to cut in. She was clearly very
discomforted by hearing
Suddenly Bill spoke. He had listened to her story all
time. “I don’t know how they did it. I know that I am not a gay but the butt
plug made me have a hard-on almost at the same. I never saw
The lunch was over. The children were hook up to the
cart once more. The track were becoming in a poorer condition. We had to help
the children a lot of times, but they still received a lash with the whip or
two. It was a harsh expedition, but detoxification is not easy. We have to push
our children to their limit for their own good.
Our dinner was conducted in silence. Everybody was
tired. Tents were put up and we all went to bed. I had to go into the wood to
pee and when I came back into the tent, I could see Bill had cried. “Relax –
honey. Mom is here with you.” He turned away from me. This was not going to be
easy.
The last two days had been almost the same - endless
hiking and meals with very little conversation. They were now up in the
mountains. The trails were slippery and as result the staff members had to use
the whip a lot of times. Of course I was
worried that it was too harsh for the children. No parent wants to see their
child in this condition, but what is the alternative?
I remember when I had some of my friends over for
coffee a month ago. For some reason the television was on. We saw a show from
MTV about children being jailed in
Well, now I am pushing the very cart, my son is chained
to. I know from the seminar that the alternative would be a destructive path to
his death, if I had not interfered. I have isolated him from the dangers and
temptations of the real world for his sake. I am saving his life.
A staff member yielded: “Stop! It is time for lunch
and then we all have to participate in group therapy.”
When the lunch was over, we all sat in a circle. A
staff member took the word and asked Bill to talk about his impact letter. Bill
started to read it:
Dear Bill
When I took the
decision to enrol you to this program, I did it in order to prevent you from
destroying your life. I did have anything against you having a girl friend.
I would also address
your addiction to alcohol. I don’t know why you choose to act in such a wrong
way. Perhaps I had my share of responsibility when my marriage with your father
broke up. Perhaps I was not there for you, when you needed my support.
You lack of trust in
me made me feel hart broken. We have always been close.
But I am here for
you now. Every step we take on this journey of emotional growth and healing! I
want your relationship with
You are my only son
and I want to see you successful and happy. I want to help you to reach that,
but you have a huge share of the work reaching it. There I will encourage you
to work towards that goal, so we all can return home soon as a reunited family.
Mom
There was a moment of silence when he was finished. He
just sat there and looked in the ground. Then he spoke:
“Mom - I am sorry about us drinking alcohol, but I
love
“I think that you are still in denial. How did you end
up in that sofa with her? I suspect that it was some kind of spontaneous act,
which got out of hand. You don’t need to have sex just because you have a
girlfriend. It is the alcohol. It blurred your mind.”
He got upset. “We only did it twice.”
I had to make me a reminder about rearrangement of his
furniture. I could not stand the thought of having something in my house he had
having sex in. I was about to reply him when the therapist cut in.
“Well, he is 16 years of age. Both he and his
girlfriend had reached the age of consent. What they did is technical legal,
but what about contraception? Did you use that?”
Bill was clearly uncomfortable about getting into that
issue. “No because
I turned towards Amber. Why was
Amber staggered. “She is on the pill, because her
bleeding was very irregular. Our doctor told us that getting her on the pill
would fix that.”
I sighed from relief. Bill needs a girlfriend that
would be faithful.
The therapist continued. “Regardless of the fact that
your girlfriend was on the pill, you still need protection. A lot of diseased
can spread when you don’t protect yourself. Also keep in mind that the pill
sometime does not work for an unknown reason. It is not a lot of fun to get a
baby, when you have not finished your education.”
Bill waved deprecating. He was not going to admit
Bill exploded in anger. He tried to stand up, but of
course it was trained counsellors, so they had seen to that one of the chains
was secured to longer chain, which all the students were connected to. So he
fell instead, which made it easy for other staff members to strap him up
entirely. I close my eyes why they struggled. I could not bear to see him being
restrained. On the other hand I knew that his torment was for his own good. He
needed to be provoked. He could not continue to lower his head and avoid every
problem in his life. He had to confront his demons in order to mature.
When I opened my eyes again they had shovelled a huge
gag ball in his mouth and his cuffs were strapped securely to his corset. He
was under control but certainly still upset. Some mumbling sounds came from his
mouth, but I could not under stand what he said.
The therapist turned to
She unfolded her impact letter and tried to read, but
she faltered and started to cry. Amber took the letter out off her hand and
read the letter instead.
Dear daughter
You have always been
my little princess. I remember those countless times where we have dressed you
up in gowns and played with makeup. It was our little world - Our small games.
Now you have decided to play with your boyfriend instead. I am not jealous. I
knew this time would come. But I had hoped that you would have come to me –
that you would have entrusted me, so I could have mentored you. Instead you
jumped into irresponsible love-making without taking the simples precautions
against pregnancy.
I took reasonability
as a parent and took you here. I did not send you here to be fixed. I am here
in person for you and I will stay at your side to the bitter end. I want to see
you succeed. By taking the tough decision of you being here together with me, I
have reached out for you. Let us work together in order to heal as a family.
Mom
When Amber stopped,
Amber understood the trick and manipulation. “
“But… What are you expecting from me? I don’t
understand.”
The therapist cut in “You need to see inside yourself.
You need to tell us about your feelings. You must open up. I feel the anger,
the resent towards your mother for her to send you here. You need to ask
yourself. Why did you not go to your mother before getting started with Bill?
Why do you need alcohol to loosen up before you have sex?”
“What kind of daughter would tell her mom, when she
are about to have sex?”
“A responsible daughter. A daughter, who thinks about consequences of her actions.
How is your mom going to be able to give you advise about the very important
act sexual intercourse is, when she is not informed of your actions?”
“Are we not entitled to a private life?”
“Yes. You are. But taking such an important step calls
for advice.”
“But I was on the pill!”
“Yes. However, sometimes the pill doesn’t work and
what about sexual transmitted disease?”
“Okay. You have a point.”
“But it doesn’t stop there. You rebelled for a reason.
You need to see inside yourself and find out what that reason is. You also need
to find out what you are ashamed off.”
“Ashamed?”
“Yes - Ashamed, because you used alcohol to let your
feelings loose. You want to be so much in control that you could not go through
with sex without using alcohol as a kind of anaesthetic. It is quiet normal for
girls, who have been the nice girl all their life. You are too focused on your appearance.
Amber – is it not correct that
Amber looked surprised. “Yes. I never had any problems
with her - Always helpful. Why is that a problem?”
“Sometimes people can be so busy doing the right thing
that they wear themselves out. That can also happen to adults. Being the
perfect daughter – perfect wife – can be so exhausting, that people start to
suffer from stress. I may have given too many clues here.
A staff member took the gag out of Bill’s mouth. When
asked if he was ready to discuss the matter further de declined. Although it
was clear for me that the therapist wanted to push Bill for reason he did not.
The rest of the day went by in silence. Our group therapy had exhausted us all.
Bill did not speak a word to me beside “Yes” and “No”.
The next morning it was raining. In fact raining was
understated. It was pouring down. Very soon the trail was muddy and Brittany
and Bill were unable to pull the cart. A staff member tried his best to
motivate them with the whip, but it was of no use. They just couldn’t. We even
tried to push. The cart was stuck. The staff member turned to me. You have to
pull too.”
I was speechless. “But how – there is no room”. He
took something from a bag. It was a harness! “You don’t mean that I have to
wear a harness like our children.”
“Yes. I am serious. One of the purposes with this
course is to teach you how to function as a family – working together. Don’t
you want to help your child?”
I nodded and started to dress up in the harness very reluctantly.
Amber also had to dress up. Fortunately we did not have to undress. The harness
consisted of a kind of leather corset with were strapped into place rather than
laced. Next was a collar, which forced me to raise my head a little. It was a
little uncomfortable. “Does it have to be like this?”
“Yes. You don’t need to look other places than where
you are going.”
On the corset there were two leather cuffs for my
upper arm. I did not like it, but what would a mother not do for her child. A
strap went between my legs. If I had been naked it would have covered my
private parts. Finally I got leather cuffs on my wrist. They were chained to
D-rings on the corset. I was immobilised. Amber and I were placed in front of
Brittany and Bill.
We were soon connect to the cart and were waiting for
the signal to pull, when a staff member put a harness over my head. Before I
had a chance to react, a bit gag was shovelled in my mouth. The staff member
could see that I was about to protest and said “This is a team challenge where
you have to work with your child under almost the same conditions as he endures
so you can bond and solve the task together.”
I settled down. They knew best. I am only a mom. What
do I know?
One staff member went behind the cart in order to
push. Another stood beside us. They signalled us to pull. The cart was stuck!
I almost jumped when I received the first lash. I did
not hurt so much. I was more the shock. HE HIT ME!
“Sorry. But now you are working under the same
conditions as your child. Almost the same because you have clothes on, which
takes something of the effect off.”
I would not give up. Amber received a lash too. I
could see that she also was shocked. She even had a tear running down her
chick. I took her hand just to encourage her. We put all our strength into it.
Suddenly the cart moved. Slowly we managed to pull it forward. We did it!!
We continued to pull the cart until lunch. Once in a
while a staff member came with water. It was difficult to drink with a bit in
your mouth. I can tell for sure.
At lunch time, when we all were seated and our gags
removed, Bill addressed me with admiration in his voice. “Mom – I did not
realise what you were trying to do for me before. Now I understand that you
truly are prepared to go more than an extra mile for me.”
“Do you want to give the program a chance and not be
in denial all time?”
“Yes, I do. Since the last group therapy session I
have thought about the reason for me to be so angry. Perhaps I was no so good
to express my feelings about your divorce. Perhaps I unknowingly had blamed you
for the divorce. I know dad always have worked a lot and you had some problem.
I did not understand that he also had had his share of the reason for the
divorce.”
“I know. We did not explain to you that we simply grew
apart. We neglected your feelings because we was busy creating a life for us separately.”
The staff member came over and signalled that is was
time for us to continued. The gag was still unpleasant to have inserted. I was
a little sore in my jaws, but there was no turning back, if the sudden progress
in my son’s behaviour should continue.
Back on the trial I could not avoid noticing how
exhausted poor Amber was. The pulling was taking a toe on her. She was panting
and sweating.
Suddenly she collapsed. A staff member freed her and
gave her something to drink.
Amber came around after a couple of minutes.
Before dinner we got down to a small creek where we
all washed. It was the first time since we had left Meditation Inlet they got a
chance to get their corset off. They could have run but they choose not to.
Instead they enjoy each other while they swam naked. It was as they were
children again. Suddenly all our arguments back home seemed to be far away, but
I knew that there would be a new challenging day tomorrow.
Back in camp all seemed to be joyful. Also the
Kaufmanns and the Newborns had good news. After having their offspring pulling
their cart without even looking at each other for days, the two youth had made
a connection. Perhaps there was a future for this couple.
This evening the children went to sleep early. We had
a group meeting with the staff members, where we discussed the progress in the
program. It was clear that all children were passed the initial barrier all
children put up when they enter treatment. We could not build trust on the very
foundation, we had created with our team-work pulling
the cart together with our children.
The next days also were also rain and muddy trials. My
jaws were so sore from the days with a gag my mouth. Breakfast was a pain. On
day three I had to call for a break several times. I received several laces
from the whip. The only thing that kept me going was the well-being of my
child.
Lunch was eaten in totally silence - Dinner also. We
were all so tired.
Then something terrible happened. I got sick. My
stomach was totally out of order. I had to call for a break every 15 minutes. A
staff member approached me. “We can not stop every that many times. We are
approaching one of our backup cabins, where we can do something.”
We arrived at the cabin and Amber was told to take
care of the children while I went inside with two of the staff members.
Inside there was an odd contraption inside. I was told
to undress and to lie down on it. Once I was in place they put a leather strap
over my body, so I could not move. Surprised and wordless I observed how they
fitted cuffs on my hands and feet. The final touch was a collar and suddenly I
felt a little uneasy about the procedure. “What are you doing?”
“We are going to give you an enema, so your bowels are
empty. It should fix the stomach infection you sooner. It would not hurt so
much if you lie still. That is why we have strapped you down.”
“But..” I did not finish my
sentence because they shovelled a gag ball into my mouth. “Mfpp…”
“Just relax. It would not take long.”
I felt something enter my rectum. It hurt a little.
Then a warm feeling began to fill up.
“We are using water with a degree about your body temperature
in order to minimize stomach cramps.”
The water seemed to run forever. The pressure inside
my body built up. It became almost unbearable. I tried to get their attention
but either they could not understand my mumbling sounds or they were used to
their patients feeling uneasy.
Then the flow stopped and one of the staff members
pulled the nozzle up. I was about to relax so the water could run out, when I
felt a pain at my splinter. Something bigger was about to enter me. I tried to
pull myself free, but of course it was of no use.
The other staff member tried to calm me down. “Relax.
The water has to stay inside you for about 15 minutes in order to achieve the
best result, so we are inserting a butt plug.”
The pain increased but suddenly my splinter gave in. I
froze from surprise. The pain stopped. However, suddenly the plug seemed to
grow. It could not be!
“Relax. We are just pumping it a little, so the water
does not run out. We are leaving you now so we can attend the rest of the
expedition in the meantime.”
They left.
After some ten minutes my stomach began to cramp. I
groaned. The groaning turned into whimper. One of the staff members heard me
and came inside. “We are having group therapy with the children alone, so we
won’t have you distracting his attention.” He took the gag ball out. I relaxed
my jaw for a moment but my torment was not over. The staff member told me to
open my mouth again and a different kind of gag went in. He padded me on my
head to comfort me. “Well, it is a pecker gag – it should keep you quiet.” He
left.
The cramp worsened. If I could, I would be screaming.
I have never in my life experienced such a feeling. Suddenly all went black.
I must have passed out. When I opened my eyes, Bill
was in front of me. “Mom, what have they done to you?”
“Well, now you can see for your own eyes that your mom
is not a quitter. Leave us now, so we can free her.”
Bill left the cabin and I was freed from the trestle.
I could barely stand on my feet. They supported me over to a primitive toilet
where I was standing over the bowl when the plug was deflated and pulled out.
Very fast my remains leaving the body.
“See. That is fine. One time more and we should be
able to avoid all those stops.” I began to cry and they comforted me. “We will
stay beside you all the way this time.”
The procedure started over again. I had to admit that
I did not take it bravely. But I did go through with it and my stomach problems
stopped.
The next day we saw the ocean when we passed a hill
top.
Once we entered the campus they took us to some
buildings beside a large sports ground. Once inside a building, we were
surprised when we were presented to the fact that we had to sleep in a box.
However, once I had found a good spot in the hay it was not so bad. Bill fell
asleep at once. I sat for some time and looked at my poor child. He looked so
peaceful when he was sleeping.
I was glad that I choose to go along with him on this
wilderness expedition. While I was home and waited until it was time to join my
child here in
I looked at my son again. Had we regained our trust in
each other again? Tomorrow would bring the answer to that question.
The next morning students – junior staff members – we
were told, came for us. We were all taken into the bath where all the dirt was
washed off. When it was time to dress I was surprised that my close only
consisted of a harness and briefs just covering our genitals. Our children was
marched off and came back full corseted and in cuffs.
Both Brittany and Bill seemed to have lost weight or
perhaps it was their corset. What a waist
A staff member greeted us and we stood in a circle so
he could explain what we were about to do.
“Today we are going to make a number of exercises in
order to show you that you all are in the same boat. By collaboration you will
be able to overcome every obstacle. Let gets started. Please. All the parents
must follow me.”
We left the stable are and went over to the main house.
Once inside we were told to go to the basement and undress.
We were standing outside the changing room covering
our private place, when a female staff member came for Amber. She left with
her. 5 minutes it was my turn. We got upstairs where I was lead into a room
where a kind of bar was hanging down from the ceiling. I was told to take a
firm hold on the bar. Once I did the staff member quickly fastened cuffs on my
hands. Everything at this wilderness therapy expedition had been so strange
than I did not bother to ask anymore.
Nevertheless, I was surprised when she pushed a button
on the wall and the bar started to rise. I was standing on my tip-toe, when it
stopped. It was very uncomfortable. Then she put cuffs on my feet. I was about
to ask her what she was doing when she pushed the button once more. Now I was
hanging by my hands and my body was stretched out.
My arms hurt. Suddenly I felt some leather fabric
around my waist. It was a corset!
Somehow and I don’t know why I did not ask her to stop.
I think that I understood that this strange outfit was necessary if the task
should be completed. I wanted to return home with a healed son.
Instead of stays the corset had straps and she laced
it tight. Very tight indeed because I panted every time I tried to get a deep
breath. I was lowered to the floor. Before she released me, I got a collar on.
It was a special collar which made it almost impossible for me to lower my
head. She released me from the bar but the cuffs remained on and it turned out
that she could chain them to some D-rings at the side of the corset. My upper
arms were also immobilized with leather cuffs and connected to the corset. I
peace of leather went between my legs covering my private parts. I was ready
for the task and the cuffs on my feet were disconnected from the floor.
Before we left the room she placed me before a large
mirror. I was stunned by the sight. “Wow. Where did I get the waist from?”
“Well. First of all you have been almost 2 weeks in
the field doing intense and hart hiking. Second of all corsets trim your body.
Shall we proceed?”
I nodded and to my surprise I got a gag in my mouth. I
was the same kind of pecker gag I had in my mouth at the cabin. Then it was
back to the stable. Once inside I was shocked when I saw where we were going.
Inside the room all the children and Amber was already hooked up to some kind
of carousel with chains hanging down from metal arms. It must be what
I tried to pull back but another staff member held me
tight. I could fell the cold sweat running down my back. Then I felt the pain.
It was so intense. I would have screamed out right there if I had not been
gagged. They waited a little for the pain to settle before the next clamp was
put on. It was just as painful as the first one. I was on the verge of passing
out. A staff member stood by me until I regained as much control as I could.
The pain became bearable.
Then I heard a suppressed cry. It was Mr. Kaufmann. It
was clear that he fought himself so he did not show weakness but he could not
hide the pain. It was in fact the first time since the start of the journey
that I had seen sign of weakness by Mr. Kaufmann. However, he was quick to
regain control over himself.
Mrs. Newborn got a panic attack when she saw the clamps.
Like me she tried to pull her self way but it was of no use. I closed my eyes
when the clamps came on. I could not take to see the fear in her eyes. Her
groans filled the room but they died away after some time. We were ready.
One of the staff members came forward. “Welcome to our
first task today. The purpose of this exercise is to show that we all share the
burden of life. Pain is equal for everyone. Life is not always happiness and
joy. Work has to be done. We all have to do our share. I will leave you to the
mercy of the walker for now. Enjoy”
He left and pressed a button on his way out. The
so-called walker started. It did not go very fast. Be sure that I followed a
long! Every time I did walk too slow, they pain in my nipples got me to correct
my speed. I look around as much as the collar allowed. Everybody seemed in some
degree of pain and tried their best to maintain the right speed. I kept an eye
on Bill. He was also looking at me. He had a worried look in his face.
It seemed that we have been going forever. I lost
track of time. Suddenly it was over. The staff members came back. They removed
the clamps and I sank to my knees due to the pain caused by the blood returning
to my nipples. I expected us to be freed, but we were marched out to our next
task.
We were guided down to the beach. Once we arrived the
staff members removed our gags and released us from our cuffs on our arms. It
was time for our next task.
“This task is about trust. One at the time you will
stand on the top of the platform. Your task is to let you fall back down from
the platform, where your team members will catch you.
She was helped up on the platform where the cuffs on
her feet were chained together. The other cuffs were once again connected to
her corset. A heather hood were pulled down over her head and laced tight.
Slowly one of the staff members guided her back on the platform until she was
standing right at the edge.
Then she let her body fall back and we grabbed her.
When all the children had passed the task, it became
Ambers turn and then mine. I was guided to the top of the platform, where I was
tied up. The hood came on. When it was laced tight I could only hear my own
breath. A staff member had his hand on my arms. It was good because I had
difficulties to maintain my balance. It takes something to let your self fall
back. I hesitated, but I knew in my mind that I had to go through the task if
Bill should have a chance to be healed. So I let my body fall back and were
luckily caught the others.
Soon the rest finished the task and then it was time
for our last task.
I followed Amber and our children into a last group
therapy session before we were going home.
It should be us four
only. The purpose was to make a home contract the children should agree to. Of
course we wanted our children home but in order to keeping things normal back
home, we had to gamble. So the message was clear. Unless they could give very
good arguments for us to alter the rules we had on our paper, they would stay
at the campus and work a normal program. It was not something we would like to
happen. In fact it would be very expensive. We could properly not afford it,
but if we played with open cards, they could continue as before. That was not
an option, we could accept.
When we were seated
our therapist greeted us and we started head on.
We went over their
relationship once more and they promised to be open about the nature of their
relationship. No more hiding, no alcohol because they were ashamed of telling
us, that they had sex.
Of course we also
wanted them to stop having sex, but this was not a St. George based Mormon
driven program. Most of the senior staff-members were from
We discussed
curfews, roles violations, consequences etc.
Our tactic worked. We got it as we wanted. We would
once again be the parents in the relationship with our children. But it was
very clear that our children felt a kind of being locked up in their own home,
so the therapist decided to have a giver-taker game.
We received a questionnaire:
1. I agree with the following statement: It’s nice to be important, but more important
to be nice
2. I need to be liked by others more than other
people seem to
3. I do not believe that nice people
finish last
4. I believe that most people on welfare are
truly in need.
5.
I frequently give to charity.
6.
Christmas is my favorite holiday.
7.
There was much love in my family when I was a child.
8. My efforts to achieve or succeed in life are
seldom interfered with by others.
9. I do not agree with this saying: Do unto others as they would do unto you, but
do it first.
10. I
usually feel uncomfortable when others do things for me.
11. I
am usually crushed when others have bad opinions of me.
12. I
believe that if you cannot say something nice about someone, don't say
anything.
I could answer “True” to the most of the questions,
so I was a “giver”. In fact I was told that if I did not alter myself a little
so I had more “False” answer, I was in danger of being exploited. The danger
would that I could built up anger inside me and let it explode uncontrolled if
I did not work with myself.
The
scorecard of our children was however more balanced, which were good. They had
some issue which they needed to work on but they were young and had to be
committed due to our bluff. The giver/taker game also came with an explanation
of some of our problems back home. Because both Amber and I were givers in an
almost extreme manner, our children who had a little more taker in them could
manipulate us.
The
therapist hammered them which brought tears out. You could see the fear of
being left here at the boarding school in their eyes. They could acknowledge
that they had taken advantage of our giver status and asked us for our
forgiveness, which we of course gave. The session ended with a big hug and we
went into the waiting room where the coffee waited for us. The therapist saw to
that we got some music on until the others were finished with their session.
Very appropriate to the situation, he chose “The Pretender”.
Eventually
the others came out and you could see that they also had been rough session.
However, we all celebrated the success of the course at dinner and it was with
renewed hope, we went to sleep in the stable.
The next
morning we were taken out to our carts. We were all put in full harness,
head-gear and gag as symbol of our reunification and then we were off. The cart
was heavy because the school had something they were about to have stored at
the campus.
The cart
was fully loaded and we panted as we worked us towards the motel. But somehow
every step seemed lighter. At last we arrived at the motel and after we had
been freed from the cart, we went inside for our room key. Some parents in the
lobby stared at us with open mouth as we entered. Most of the parents were used
to see students in pony gear outfit, but we were adults. Once in our room we
got the first decent shower for a long time and then we got our own clothes on.
I had a whole suitcase of his clothes with me and of course he was delighted.
He was taken from his home with only a T-shirt and some trousers.
I also
could not wait to take a bath. Two weeks without shaving your legs – that is
torture. We had arranged for a dinner at the pool area. Just before we were
going to leave, Bill came over and hugged me. “Mom - You don’t know how much I
have missed you. I have realized that I had hurt you and have taken so much for
granted. This trip has been an eye opener for me. Even though it was very hart
first and I hated it, I came to love it in the end. I just wanted to tell you
that I love you.”
We were the
last one to arrive. The dinner was served and we had a nice cosy evening. When
it was time for us to redraw to our room we had a surprise for Brittany and
Bill. We gave them their own room. Of course we had seen to that there were
condoms in place for them. They were overexcited as they went.
Amber came
back to my room, so we could sit and talk about our experience. We had emptied
a bottle of wine when Amber suddenly exclaimed. “Let’s put on the pony girl
outfit once more!”
I was a
little drunk but never mind. It did not take long before I was all dressed out
in full corset, harness, gagged and with the cuffed securely connected to the
corset.
Amber
guided me over to the bed and had me to lie down in the bed. My feet were
spread out and tied to the bed posters. Then she closed the blinkers so I could
not see anything. She started to lick my breast and it felt so nice. Then she
removed the flap covering my genitals and continued to lick me. Oh it was so
good. Since my husband left me I did not have any sex beside my personal friend
as I called my vibrating plastic thing.
She must
have found it in the suitcase because suddenly I felt it enter me. She
continued to lick me and I was close to climax, when she suddenly stopped. The
dildo was retracted and I waited for her next move. Then I heard the door.
She had
left me!
I tried to
move around, but because my feet were tied, I could not turn. Then I heard the
door again. Was I Amber?
I felt a
tongue at my ear and she spoke “Relax, I am going to ride my pony as it never
had been ridden before”.
She started
to lick me once more. The dildo also joined the action. I was in heaven. Then I reached my climax.
When I woke
I was on my stomach. She pulled me back so I rested on my knees and positioned
her self behind me. I was exhausted and tried to say something to her, but due
to the gag only unintelligible sound came from me.
Suddenly I
felt something in my rear opening. I wanted to move away from it, but she held
me tight in the harness. The pain increased until something slipped inside me.
It was a dildo. My body stiffened from the shock. Amber allowed me to settle
before she began to work on me. The dildo also went in. Amber increased the
pace and my rear hole felt as it was in fire. She started to use a riding crop
on me. I received several lashes as she continued to ride me.
Suddenly my
second orgasm came. I let out a repressed scream. Suddenly I also heard her
pant and she came with a grunt.
She pulled
out. The blinkers were opened and I saw one of the biggest strap-on dildos, I
had ever seen.
The gag was
removed and we talked for a bit, before I was let out of the pony outfit and
she left the room.
I had to
admit that the pony gear outfit aroused me. Somehow it was nice to lose control
during sex.
I went to
sleep and we left
It had been
5 years since I decide to send my son from his home in order to achieve
emotional growth.
The
wilderness therapy had such an immense impact in their life. They became more
motivated and their self-esteem also improved. I can only recommend parents to
go with their child on a wilderness expedition. Somehow a lot of parents choose
out on the challenge of being with their off-spring in the middle of nowhere. I
would not have missed my experience for a minute.
The journey
only had one side-effect, which I have kept a secret for my son, but this was a
pleasant one. From time to time, I have to travel together with Amber to a farm
upstate, where people engage in pony-play. I found my call as pony slave. Next
week it is time once more.
Finish
Review This Story || Email Author: JensenDenmark