Synopsis: I suppose in this day of internet I have the unusual task of advising you that no, I am not a sweaty 45 year old bald man in a food stained t-shirt. I actually am a woman in the american mid-west. I have hair that hangs past my waist, I am tall, considered to be attractive and a female coworker told me the other day that I have "such a pretty figure" You can fill in the rest for now.