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I felt like I had known Mattie my whole life. She had literally saved my life on many occasions. The spiral of depression and self harm I had slipped into just before I met her were threatening to wipe out my existence. I needed something but I hadn’t know what it was until we had met one night in a club. Her club as it turned out. She hadn’t quite had the reputation she has now but she was well known as the most sadistic Domme around the City. Her club ‘The Bear Pit’ was famous for being the best and better regulated and safest s&m club around. The punishment suites were always booked up.
The night that we met, I had been high on something and suicidal. I wanted to find someone in the club to simply beat me to death. I just wanted the pain to take away all my other thoughts. Thoughts about my own shame of being gay of what my parents thought about it. Of how they tried to brain wash me into being straight. I was traumatised. I knew I was but I just wanted someone to come along and take control. I was useless at being in charge of my own life. I was killing myself slowly.
I had wandered into the club looking for someone sadistic to play with me when Mattie had seen me. She came over and spoke to me, sitting down quietly next to me and giving me a drink.
“What do you want?” I said, annoyed at the intrusion. She just held the drink out and said nothing. I was 19 and she looked older than that, possibly 25. She looked hot too. I looked her in the eyes and even then something in her gaze made me look away. I caught a hint of a smile on her lips as I did. I took the drink and downed it. I knew I looked a mess and I was wondering what the hell she was doing even giving me the time of day. I fumbled about my pockets for a cigarette and she lit it for me.
“Look, what do you want?” I asked again.
“Do you think I have to explain myself to you?” I wasn’t expecting that reply and it sent shivers down my spine. I looked at her again and she was deadly serious.
“What are you doing in my club? Who are you waiting for?” She asked.
“I don’t have to answer you.”
“Oh I think you do. I’ve seen you in here before. You’re bad for business. “
“And how do you work that out?” There was a sexual tension between us that I couldn’t work out. She was saying one thing but I was feeling something else from her. I swallowed hard as she didn’t answer. I took a breath to speak and she got up.
“You can either come with me or leave. I don’t want you sitting here waiting for some sadistic bitch to flog you half to death.” I looked up at her. She was holding her hand out. I still to this day have no idea why I went with her but I did. I put my hand in her hand and went with her. She took us through a black curtain at the back of the club and down a corridor. The club was really classy. I had expected it to look like some sort of a brothel when I first went there but there was a bar and then through the back were the suites you could hire. Most were kitted out with a cross, chains suspended from the ceiling and a selection of whips, floggers and crops. Anything that went in or up any orifice you had to bring yourself.
I walked along behind her and she took us through the maze of corridors where we heard screams and cries and begging for mercy. My cunt was throbbing at this point just listening to the other people back there. We got to a door that said private and she took me up some steps to a second level and into a dark room. Without turning the light on she closed the door and left us both in the pitch black room.
“What are you going to do to me?”
“Be quiet.” She said quietly and with full authority and expectation that I would obey. I did obey. The other times that a Domme had taken me through to a suite they had just tied me up and flogged or whipped me for a while and then I’d gone home. It had never been enough. Nothing was ever enough. I wanted intense. I wanted body on fire. Words like excruciating; agonising, unbearable were words that I wanted to be using. I stood in the dark while she did whatever she was doing. She seemed to know her way around in the dark. The room was soundproofed. I couldn’t hear any of the other people once the door was closed. She came round the back of me and slipped a blindfold over my eyes. I went to touch it and she took it away.
“Hands down or you can just leave.” My sassy, fuck the World attitude wanted to tell her where to go but my cunt wanted me to stay so I stayed. I took a deep breath and sighed heavily and she laughed softly.
“Poor baby. Keep still now.” I did what she said and she put the blindfold on. She tied it tight.
“What’s your name?” She said from somewhere round the back of me. I heard her click the light on but none of it penetrated the blindfold.
“Cerys. What’s yours?”
“I’ll ask the questions. You need to pick a safeword.”
“I don’t need a safeword.” I said cockily.
“I’m not going any further until you have one.” She said firmly. I sighed.
“Giraffe then.” I said sarcastically.
“Take this seriously, right now or leave. The beating that you are going to get if you play the game right needs a safe word now pick one.” I could tell she was serious. I sighed again.
“Alright, I’ll say Mercy.”
“You can remember that can you? In the heat of things?”
“I won’t need it. There ain’t nothing you can do to me that I can’t take.” I could hear her walking about. She came to the front of me.
“Present your wrists to me willingly and whatever happens after I take them will need your safeword to get out of it. Do you agree that you are willing to give yourself over to me?”
“For what? What are you going to do?”
“That was a yes or no question.” None of the other Domme’s that I had given myself to had affected me the way she was doing. I felt scared and excited and it felt good.
“Yes, I agree.” I said annoyed that she had got to me.
“Hold out your wrists.” I did and she slipped leather cuffs on them. I heard a click of a lock on each wrist.
“Stand with your legs apart.” I moved them apart and she started undressing me. She had only put the wrist cuffs on and not fastened them together. This made it easier for her to undress me. She did it slowly and silently. I kept my arms raised as she removed my skirt and boots. She took my top off and removed my bra. After she removed my g-string I was butt naked. My mind was racing as she left me standing there. The room smelled of some sort of incense and leather. She came up at the back of me and breathed on my neck.
“Do you think I do this all the time with my customers?” I went to answer and she put her finger to my lips.
“Do you think you’re the first or the last in a long line of many? Do you think that anyone else will ever be good enough for you after I’ve finished with you? What do you think Cerys? Do you think I can make you cum through pain alone?” That question terrified and excited me. Most Domme’s I had worked with stopped long before I was ready to cum. I didn’t hold out much hope for her. They were only words.
She reached around my back and put a belt around my waist and fastened it tight and then she clipped my wrists to each side of the belt. There was no way to unfasten them with the way the belt was fastened. She lead me across the room. I felt her putting rope through my arms at the elbow and she pulled tight at one side and then at the other so I was secured by each elbow across the room. The rope rubbed and I knew it would burn if I moved too much.
“This is your last chance to back out before I start. You can obviously get out of it any time after that.”
“No. Just do it.”
“Just do it?” She sounded displeased. I was really ready for it just then and didn’t want her to think about punishing me for being rude.
“Please. Please, I don’t want to back out.”
“Mattie. My name is Mattie. Don’t call me Mistress. You say Yes Mattie.”
“Yes Mattie.” She struck without warning and I did yell out just from the shock but I soon settled into the familiar thud of the flogger. She began at the back but worked all round my body, kicking my legs apart so she could work on my inner things and even ankles and calves. Without warning she changed to a more stingy whip. She concentrated on my back and tits at first and I was warming up nicely. She came close to me and invaded my cunt with her hand, her fingers prying me open and entering me. I caught my breath and hung my head back and she brought her hand up and invaded my mouth with my own juices. I tasted myself and she kissed me, grasping the back of my hair tight. She pulled me away from her.
“Are you ready for some serious pain?”
“Always.” The first crack of the bullwhip shot through my cunt like a gun shot. It hit my clit and I began cumming as she carried on cracking the whip at me all over. My instinctive reaction was to close my legs as they weren’t secured apart in any way and she cracked the whip at my ankles.
“Keep your legs apart!” She kept going with the bull whip shooting bullets of fire all over my body. She was relentless and I ended up screaming for her to stop. I never said the safeword though. I didn’t want her to stop but the pain was intense. She just kept going over and over again concentrating on my sides and the backs of my arms at the top, all sensitive places that rarely saw any attention from a whip.
My legs gave way eventually and I went hoarse from screaming. My arms were raw where the ropes were cutting into me. I could tell some of the cracks had broken the skin and I could feel blood trickling down my body in various places.
“Stand very still.” I felt the cold blade of the knife touch my breast and I didn’t move. My body was on fire but all my attention went to the knife at that point. Without warning she ripped the blindfold off and light flooded into my eyes, blinding me. I shook my head trying to make sense of what I was seeing. She was standing in front of me with the top of the blade pressing against my nipple. I looked at my elbow joints where the ropes were and they were burnt with the ropes rubbing as I had thrashed about during the whipping. I smiled slightly. She put the tip of the blade under my chin and pushed up to make me look at her.
“You like that do you?” I shrugged. She laughed.
“You’re not very expressive are you? Maybe this will help.” She bent down and I watched as she positioned the tip of the knife against my clit. She started pushing and I could feel it about to break the skin. I sucked my breath in.
“You won’t be much use without a clit will you?”
“What do you want to know?” I said desperately.
“Do you like what you see, so far?”
“Yes.” She pushed a bit harder.
“I want you to talk to me!”
“Yes, I like it! I like what the rope has done to my arms. I’ll be able to feel that after today and see it.”
“Very good.” I breathed again as she took the knife away from my clit. She put it against my tits.
“Watch this. Watch how beautiful the bead of blood looks as it forms.” I watched as she pressed the top of the knife into my breast just above the nipple. It broke the skin and I caught my breath as the bead of blood appeared and trickled down my nipple and onto the floor.
“I thought you weren’t meant to do blood play in here.”
“It’s my club. I’ll do whatever I want. I could slit your throat if I want.” She put the knife to my throat and for the first time I was slightly scared. She put the blade against my throat and I kept deadly still. I could feel it pressing into my skin and breaking it. She rocked it back and forth around the contours of my neck until I imagined a line of blood trickling down all the way round the front of my neck. She smiled when she was done and stepped back.
“Very pretty. Want to see?” I nodded and she shouted.
“Speak to me you fucking slut!” I jumped.
“Yes, I want to see….please.” She showed me in a mirror and there was a red, angry line all the way round the front of my throat with blood trickling down from it. I smiled.
“How am I supposed to show up at work on Monday with that looking like that?”
“Who says you’re going anywhere?” My heart contracted and my cunt jumped to attention too when she said that.
“I’ve been watching you, coming in here, week after week. Literally watching you.” She pointed to the cctv cameras in the corner of the room.
“It’s not that easy to find someone who I am compatible with.” She looked me in the eye and started taking the belt off her trousers. It was black leather and about an inch wide. She wrapped the buckle end round her hand and bent down in front of me. I bent my head to watch her, feeling the cut on my neck pulling. It was superficial but effective. I had blood all over the top half of me now in slight lines. The bleeding had stopped. She touched my cunt with the belt. She slapped my legs hard.
“Move them apart!” She ordered and I did. She inserted the tip of the belt up into my dripping cunt. It was a strange sensation and she just kept threading it in until just the buckle was left hanging out. I could only feel the bit at the entrance, not inside. She let go of it and peeled back my outer lips, pulling them hard to expose my clit. It was throbbing in anticipation. I was having a hard time remembering to take a breath. She put her mouth over my clit and just kissed it. Then she began licking me tenderly getting rougher and a bit faster as my breath sped up. Just as I was about to come she jammed her thumb onto my clit and pulled the belt out. She kept the pressure on my clit while I finished my orgasm and then she went round the back of me and began belting me with the belt, wet with my own juices. That made each crack on my back hurt more. I cried out at the first one. She hit me so hard, I could feel each strike erupt into a welt of angry raised skin. I could feel that some of them broke the skin and I was screaming almost continuously now. She concentrated on my shoulders and buttocks and she only stopped when my knees buckled and I began to cum. I was left hanging from my arms, the rope cutting in having orgasm after orgasm. My eyes closed and my head fell forwards and my body shook. I wasn’t even there, in the room. Time stood still.
I didn’t feel her moving me. She lay me on a mattress and put a straw in between my lips. I drank the cold water and started to come round a bit. I opened my eyes and smiled at her. She leant down and kissed me. I knew we were meant to be together. The rest, as they say, is history.